Picture walking into a room full of people, feeling completely at ease. Imagine pursuing your dreams without that nagging voice of self-doubt. Think about making decisions firmly and clearly, knowing you trust your own judgment. This is what genuine self-confidence looks like, and it’s a skill you can develop.
Self-confidence – that deep sense of trust in your own abilities, qualities, and judgment – forms the foundation for everything from career success to fulfilling relationships. While some seem to exude natural confidence, the truth is that self-confidence is like a muscle: the more you work it, the stronger it becomes.
In this article, we’ll explore what self-confidence really means and share practical, evidence-based techniques for building lasting self-confidence that becomes part of who you are.
What is self-confidence? Understanding the foundation
Before diving into how to build self-confidence, let’s define it first: what does self-confidence mean?
Self-confidence is more than just feeling good about yourself – it’s a realistic and secure belief in yourself, your abilities, and your judgment. When you are self-confident, you are willing to stretch yourself, take action, and put yourself out there, because you believe that you are capable, and that you will be okay no matter what happens.
Self-confidence often relates to your ability to perform specific tasks or handle certain situations. You might be highly confident in some areas of life while feeling less confident in others.
What does self-confidence mean in practice? It means:
- Trusting your abilities and decisions
- Accepting yourself while acknowledging areas for growth
- Taking action despite fears or doubts
- Being willing to try new things or take risks
- Bouncing back from setbacks
- Speaking up for yourself and your beliefs
- Setting healthy boundaries
With that definition of self-confidence in mind, let’s talk about how to improve self-confidence.
7 proven strategies for building self-confidence
Wondering how to build self-confidence? These 7 proven, practical strategies are effective for developing self-confidence and creating profound shifts in your life.
1. Start with Small Wins
Building self-confidence begins with proving to yourself that you’re capable. Start by:
- Setting small, achievable goals
- Breaking larger tasks into manageable steps
- Celebrating your progress, no matter how small
- Documenting your successes
2. Practice Self-Compassion
How you talk to yourself matters. Developing self-confidence requires treating yourself with the same kindness you’d show a good friend or a small child. We don’t thrive under criticism, we thrive under love, support, and understanding.
- Notice negative self-talk
- Challenge harsh self-criticism
- Acknowledge that everyone makes mistakes
- Focus on growth and learning rather than perfection
3. Master Your Body Language
Your physical presence affects how you feel about yourself. We might not always feel confident, but we can practice embodying confidence in the way we hold ourselves and move through the world:
- Stand tall with shoulders back, hold your head high, and walk with purpose and conviction
- Relax tense muscles and shake out any stress you’re holding in your body
- Make eye contact when appropriate
- Practice power poses before important events to embody confidence
4. Expand Your Comfort Zone
Gaining self-confidence means gradually pushing your boundaries and trying new things. This allows your brain to collect evidence that you are actually safe and okay when you get out of your comfort zone. Over time, this reinforces a new, positive cycle and helps you build new neural patterns that help you feel more and more confident.
- Try one new thing each week
- Face smaller fears first, and work your way up
- Learn from each experience and track your progress along the way
- Celebrate your courage for showing up and doing hard things
5. Develop Your Skills
Competence breeds confidence. So do what you can to develop your skillset so you can feel more competent in areas that are less familiar to you:
- Identify areas for improvement
- Take classes or workshops
- Read books in your field
- Practice new skills regularly
6. Use Positive Affirmations Effectively
When combined with action, affirmations can help reshape your self-image and help you gain self-confidence. Affirmations are a great way to build a stronger, more empowered inner narrative and reshape your beliefs about yourself, so you can feel more self-assured as you learn, grow, and try new things:
- Make affirmations specific to you and realistic (these 10 powerful affirmations to boost self-worth and 10 affirmations for self-compassionate personal growth can be a great place to get ideas!)
- State them in the present tense
- Connect them to your actions
- Repeat them consistently, so they become embedded into your new inner narrative
7. Practice EFT Tapping
EFT Tapping has been shown to significantly boost confidence and self-esteem. This mind-body approach helps you to release limiting beliefs, increase self-acceptance and self-compassion, reduce anxiety around things that make you uncomfortable, and build emotional resilience so that you can bounce back from setbacks easier.
It’s a powerful nervous system regulation tool that can allow you to feel more balanced and centered, so you can take action from a calm, confident place and incorporate new habits and behaviors into your life.
If you’d like to start incorporating Tapping for self-worth and self-confidence into your routine to transform your sense of self and create profound shifts in your life, give it a try:
- Learn the basics of Tapping here
- Download The Tapping Solution App
- Explore a vast library of guided meditation in The Tapping Solution app to target your Tapping work on topics that resonate most with you and your goals
- Practice consistently to promote long-lasting shifts in how you feel and experience life
Maintaining and growing your self-confidence
Developing self-confidence is an ongoing journey, not a destination.
As you implement these strategies, remember to be patient with yourself, celebrate progress, learn from setbacks, and keep practicing consistently. You may have ups and downs – and that’s okay! After all, we’re all human, and we’re all imperfect.
But the more you can learn to accept yourself as you are and believe in your capabilities to handle whatever comes your way, the more free and empowered you’ll feel to create the life of your dreams. That’s the true self-confidence definition: feeling free to be yourself, and to learn and grow along the way as you journey through life and go after what you want.
Ready to take your self-confidence to the next level? Try combining these strategies for even stronger results. And be sure to try the Tapping technique to really integrate self-confidence into your being on a deeper level than ever before.
Remember, true self-confidence comes from taking consistent action while maintaining self-compassion for yourself.
So start small, and be patient with yourself. Start with one strategy today, and build from there. You’ve got this!
Until next time… Keep Tapping!
Nick Ortner
P.S. What strategy will you try first? Share your thoughts in the comments below!
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