Expanding Your Comfort Zones: The Key to Your Success – Part 1 of 3
Written by Carol Look
PART 1 of 3
We all prefer to live within our comfort zones in every part of our lives. Some of us are restricted within these parameters concerning our health, others stick to them around annual salaries, while others play them out in interpersonal relationships. You will find we all have these comfort zones but don’t always notice them or know how powerful they are. You will find that behind every comfort zone are a few strong limiting beliefs. Limiting beliefs are restrictions about your abilities that you are convinced are true. They support your comfort zones to keep you “safe.” If you can work on expanding your comfort zones emotionally and energetically with Tapping from the inside, you will automatically attract more success in every area of your life.
Let’s start with a few definitions and answers to some frequently asked questions about comfort zones. The 4 most common questions I am asked are:
* What is a Comfort Zone?
* How do I know if I have one?
* Do I need to know why I have it or where it came from?
* Once I have identified my comfort zones, how do I expand them?
In this article, I will offer simple tapping suggestions to expand your comfort zones to make success in your life a probability, not just a possibility.
What Is a Comfort Zone?
A comfort zone is a ceiling on your performance (or health, or finances) above which you won’t emotionally “dare to go.” These “zones” are invisible to you, except when you look at the results of your efforts in your life. The results in your life are reflecting the comfort zones under which you currently operate. You might have unconscious comfort zones that are hidden from your awareness, or you may be clear and conscious about the limits you have set for yourself. Either way, you are compelled to stay within these boundaries for their ease and familiarity, and will seek ways to balance your life so you remain within these safe walls. A comfort zone is a place you know well, there is no risk there, and you don’t have to suffer “growing pains” or “stretching” pains while staying within it.
How Do I Know If I Have One?
Look at your life — your health, finances, relationships, and general sense of well-being. If your health is always compromised, or you make a certain salary every year and never go above that dollar amount, or if your relationships follow all the same predictable patterns, it is highly likely you have a comfort zone in which you are operating (hiding) to stay safe. Staying emotionally safe is the real reason we live within these comfort zones. Feeling out of place, or that you don’t belong in a new “zone” will immediately signal you to sabotage yourself so that you come back “home.”
A key to identifying whether you have comfort zones or not is whether your efforts to change emotionally/ financially/ or physically have been temporary or permanent. When you have successfully worked on expanding your comfort zones, changes come automatically and remain permanent. When you have only applied a band-aid approach to your problems (a diet, a sharper resume, trying out a new “type” in dating) you are likely to return to your original set point, and you will be disappointed with your temporary results.
Examine your life now. Are you disappointed by some changes that were only temporary? Are you frustrated because you thought you had “worked on” an issue only to find it has resurfaced? Maybe you thought your new partner was “different” this time, but instead of drinking, he gambles…instead of being emotionally unavailable by leaving the home, he is emotionally unavailable by zoning out in front of the television. Perhaps you thought you had finally found the diet for you, only to find that you regained the weight you had lost with your new eating plan. Maybe you landed an incredible audition, and showed up late or “forgot” an important line.
The good news is that we can change those patterns on a permanent basis. Using Tapping to get to the root cause of “relapse” in any part of your life is a sure way to expand these zones which will enable you to move forward.
Do I Need To Know Where My Limits Came From?
Not always. I was able to break through a salary comfort zone without knowing exactly where it came from. It was obvious that I was limited by one, since I earned the exact same income two years in a row despite numerous variables in my clinical practice. This feedback told me that yes, I must not be comfortable earning above this amount! I never knew why this amount was a block, but once I worked on it with Tapping, (I treated it as an emotional and social safety issue) I blew past it very quickly.
Some people will want and need exact data and to know that their comfort zone came from something their father said, a comment their coach or sibling said, that made them decide to stick within a comfortable framework. In other cases, you don’t need to know the specifics if you can tap on the anxiety that surfaces when you consider stretching past your current limits.
Once I have Identified My comfort zones, How Do I Expand Them?
This is the fun part! Once you have identified that you have comfort zones (and everyone does) and decide that you are willing to break through them, Tapping is the perfect tool to stretch your emotional capacity and give you the power to break through these “ceilings.”
Identifying and expanding your comfort zones takes a little work, but it will be profoundly worth it to you if you truly want to change. Some people admit that they don’t want to change, even when they are offered simple tools to turn their lives around, and that’s ok too.
In this 3 part series I will show you ways to identify and expand your individual comfort zonesin the areas of (1) Weight, (2) Health, (3) Sports, (4) Finances, and (5) Building Your Tapping Practice (or other business.)
WEIGHT LOSS:
Suppose you continue to say to friends and family that you want to lose 20 pounds (or 30, 40 etc) but you never quite get there. Or worse, once you get there, you regain the weight you fought so hard to release. This yo-yo pattern is evidence that you have a comfort zone and have not broken through the core issue around your body weight.
Do the following quick exercise:
* Imagine losing 10 pounds, how would you feel? Picture it, feel it, and imagine your body at this new weight.
* If there is no anxiety or any other discomfort, do the same exercise with the “next 10 pounds.” Imagine yourself weighing 20 pounds less. Now how do you feel? Any anxiety? Any discomfort? Fears?
* If there is still no anxiety (this is unlikely), imagine losing another 10 pounds, so that you are now 30 pounds less than when you started in your mind’s eye. Measure the anxiety or discomfort.
* Pretend you have now lost 40 pounds (or reached your goal), and feel it in your body, see it in the “mirror” and notice how you feel.
By this point, if you are in touch with your feelings, you should have some considerable anxiety and “yes, buts” surfacing. While it is uncomfortable, you have just given yourself perfect targets for Tapping.
If at any of these junctures you feel the anxiety rising, ask yourself a few simple questions to identify your limiting beliefs as targets for your tapping:
* Why does it feel awkward or uncomfortable to be at this new weight?
* What feels risky about losing ______ pounds?
* What scares you about reaching this goal?
* What’s the downside of losing weight?
For instance, suppose it was easy and freeing for you to imagine yourself 10 pounds lighter than you are now, but when you pretended you were 20 pounds lighter, you suddenly became anxious and nervous. Start tapping about the feelings that surfaced to move you beyond this comfort zone.
* Even though I feel anxious without enough coverage, I deeply and completely love and accept myself anyway
* Even though I feel exposed and unprotected at this new weight, I accept who I am and that I can protect myself anyway…
* Even though I would rather hide behind the extra weight, I accept all of me and the reasons I thought I needed this protection.
Then proceed with the exercise until you are able to imagine and feel yourself at your goal weight with no “Yes, buts,” no anxiety, and no insecurity. Maybe during this exercise you realized that you are worried about your sister’s jealousy, or your mother’s envy, or your friend’s frustration with her own weight problem.
* Even though I’m afraid of what they will say to me, I choose to mind my own business.
* Even though I don’t want them to be mean to me, I choose to feel inspired towards my own goals.
* Even though I’m worried that they will ridicule me if I stay on my diet, the way they did last time, I honor myself, my goals and accept who I am.
Continue with this exercise until you hit something “threatening” (you’ll know it by the way you feel in your mind and body) and you feel as if you have bumped into the core reason you won’t let yourself lose the excess weight you have been carrying around. Is it frightening to change? Scary to think that it might really work this time? Or threatening to make the effort because you fear you will gain it back again?
What are your limiting beliefs regarding your ability to lose the weight? Ask yourself how true these statements sound on a scale of 0-10:
* No one in my family can lose weight and keep it off. (0-10)
* My metabolism is the cause of my extra weight. (0-10)
* I know I won’t keep it off so it’s not worth the effort. (0-10)
* I’m not supposed to be successful. (0-10)
If any of these statements were “true” when you scaled them, then tap on the feelings as follows:
* Even though the problem is my metabolism and I can’t change that…I deeply and completely love and accept myself.
* Even though this is a family/gene problem, so why bother trying, I accept who I am and how I feel.
* Even though I don’t want to try again because of what happened last time, I have decided to change this pattern inside of me.
