“I’m not good enough!” as a Cultural Phenomenon
Written by Alice Grange
This morning I led a tapping circle with women from around the world. The general theme was tapping on and releasing pervasive abundance issues that may be getting in our way of believing we deserve to make a good living doing what we do well, what we have been extensively trained in, and what has helped many of our clients, and others, from around the world: EFT!
We began the session by tapping along to Margaret Lynch’s ‘TAP INTO SHINING’ script. (See below for the transcript).
After I read each individual sentence of the script, a Scandinavian woman repeated them, while the others muted and tapped along with us.
After tapping along to the whole script, I checked in with the women as to whether they had felt any ‘triggers’ or noticed any specific memories while we had all been tapping together.
Several themes emerged that seemed to resonate with most of the women on the call.
The most pervasive one was a sense that ‘Everyone else deserves to shine, and to be equally compensated for their gifts, education and efforts, EXCEPT ME!‘ When I followed it to its logical conclusion we found a common feeling, (that I poked a bit of fun at), which is that ‘I am the only person on the planet who is not good enough to deserve to shine and to prosper’.
After tapping several rounds on some of the particular words and phrases that seemed to have the most charge for women on the Skype call, the Scandinavian woman remembered that many of her, and her fellow Scandinavians, limiting beliefs were perpetuated by a famous novel that she read as a child.
So we tapped a bit on, ‘if it was written in a book, it must be true’, while she began to recognize how important the content of that novel has been towards instilling and perpetuating pervasive limiting beliefs that she, and many other Scandinavians, hold. Apparently this novel is culturally significant, and has affected many Scandinavians profoundly.
After the session she sent me a list of the other beliefs as outlined by the Danish-Norwegian Novelist –Aksel Sandemose, in his 1933 novel A Fugitive Crosses His Tracks. This novel negatively portrays and criticizes individual success and achievement as being unworthy and inappropriate. The 10 Laws of Jante are well known throughout Denmark, Norway and Sweden and convey a disparaging attitude towards individuality and individual success, which discourages personal achievement.
Colloquially used in Nordic Countries to describe a negative and condescending attitude towards individuality and success, the term, The Laws of Jante, refers to a cultural mentality that predates the author. The emphasis, for centuries, has been on the collective good for everyone. The most basic tenant is that ‘You are not to think you’re anyone special, or that you’re better than us.’
In the novel the Janters, (inhabitants of a typical small town), who sin against these unwritten ‘laws’ are regarded with suspicion and hostility, as it goes against the town’s communal desire to preserve harmony, social stability and uniformity.
In order to ensure individual conformity to the Laws of Jante, there is an eleventh rule, known as the ‘Penal Code of Jante’ which is: Perhaps you don’t think we know a few things about you?
With such self-destructive cultural messages, and implied threats, it is no wonder that the woman I tapped with has had trouble paying the rent!
When we finished the session she, and the others, all reported feeling much calmer, clearer, more peaceful and positive.
After the session the woman who told me about the ‘Laws’, sent me the whole list of Jante’s Laws. I wrote back suggesting that there might be considerable material for further fruitful tapping – on the rest of the laws, and not just for Scandinavians!
The ten ‘rules’, or ‘commandments’ state:
You’re not to think you are anything special.
You’re not to think you are as good as we are.
You’re not to think you are smarter than we are.
You’re not to convince yourself that you are better than we are.
You’re not to think you know more than we do.
You’re not to think you are more important than we are.
You’re not to think you are good at anything.
You’re not to laugh at us.
You’re not to think anyone cares about you.
You’re not to think you can teach us anything.
Margaret Lynch’s Tap into Shining Script:
Even though I have been really seeing and feeling
that I have a vow to stay invisible
and it’s scary because I took this vow for a reason.
It really is costing me a lot
Money, happiness, energy, frustration
And it’s costing the world!
It’s costing others who need what I want to give, do, teach
I totally honor that I have a lot of beliefs around this.
I learned them from my family.
But the truth is, I AM unique and I am really good at what I do.
And though this still feels scary and vulnerable,
I do love bringing my gifts to the world.
I put my heart and soul into what I do,
and I really love sharing that.
I actually love the way I am;
my training, my intelligence,
my unique gifts,
that special quality that I bring to my work.
The world really does need it.
I’ve spent a lot of time downplaying it,
hiding it,
being invisible.
I’ve spent a lot of time trying to be someone else.
I’m just gonna honor that.
But I totally honor how special I am –
how much I love talking about my work.
I pour my heart and soul into it,
and I would really love to share that with more people
so many more people.
And I totally deserve to receive
YES to receive based on my giving,
based on my amazing value.
I choose to stand here and shine
with my unique brilliance,
with my heart open for all to see.
I totally honor that I am a miracle.
I am a rock star.
And I give everyone else permission to shine, too
Permission to shine fully with their light
because I choose to shine fully with my light.
As I shine my brilliance,
the whole universe responds,
and from my actions,
I will receive the exact value back in money and wealth,
in praise and support,
in everything I desire.
I step into the third level of wealth manifestation
as I start to let go of my vow to be invisible.
For my highest good
And the highest good of everyone!
