Why Can’t I Lose Weight?! How It Might Be Protecting You

Written by Karin Davidson

We’ve all heard quite a bit about using EFT for cravings and asking questions about feelings around food when you eat – and then using tapping instead of overeating. That’s all good.

Losing Weight Isn’t Always About Eating

But many times not being able to lose weight is not about eating. What if your subconscious has learned that it’s unsafe to let go of the weight? “That’s silly” you say… “How can it be unsafe to be fit?” Maybe you don’t want to be a skinny rail, but you’re simply trying to be a more healthy weight? How can it be unsafe to be a healthy weight?

As we travel through life we assign meaning to the events that happen to and around us. When you have a negative experience as a child (for example, your mother yelled at you for bringing mud in the house), you form an association in your mind between the event and the negative impact it had to you at the time. Your emotional reaction is tied to the memory of the event – whether you realize it or not. So we use EFT to “untie” any negative learnings from a past event. We are then free from those same old negative reactions. We can do that with our negative learnings about what keeps us safe as well – including weight.

I have many clients that want to work on their issues with food. We can start there but I’m interested in where they learned those reactions. Start with exploring how the eating makes you feel better and where you learned that? Question yourself: what would be the hard part to losing weight? It’s actually those questions that are the easy part to start using EFT with.

How The Subconscious Uses Weight for Safety

What if the subconscious is using the weight to keep us safe somehow? We can ask questions like – what happened the last time you were at your goal weight – or even close to your goal weight? It may seem unrelated and can take some digging, but these are the sticky learnings that we need to address because they hold us back.

Case Studies: Why Can’t I Lose Weight?!

Some of the things I’ve found with clients are things like:

• I’m somehow “getting back” at my father by staying heavy because he always put me down about my weight
• The last time I was close to my goal weight, I sold the house and I loved that house
• If I’m at my goal weight, I’ll be more attractive and my husband will want to have more sex
• If I’m at my goal weight, I’ll be more attractive and I don’t trust myself to not sleep around
• The last time a diet worked, I got so sick
• My daughter had bulimia and dieting really scares me
• If I’m more attractive, I’m more likely to get attacked in a parking lot
• My mother always said “You’ll never find someone unless you’re thin and pretty” – I’ll show her

And there are many more. All of these mean, “I’m safe if I simply stay heavy.” That is the learning that you still hold today.

Using EFT To Help You Feel Safe Losing Weight

It does take a while to look at all the possible underlying reasons or fears and it not always obvious.

Step One:

You can start by simply tapping and saying:

“I wonder what is holding me back from losing weight?” or “What’s the BAD thing that could happen if I lose weight?”

And keep tapping while you let you mind wander… and keep saying that phrase out loud and something will almost always pop up. And then of course, the first thing that you normally say to the first thing that pops up is “THAT has nothing to do with weight or dieting or exercising, or whatever.” Many times it seems unrelated. However, you can still tap on to clear it and there is most likely a hidden little part that is somehow related to the weight – even if you don’t see the connection in your conscious mind.

Step Two:

When you come up with a specific event that pops up, go ahead and write it down – even if it’s unclear if it’s about weight. Take your time and find an event to tap with.

An Important Part of Tapping For Weight Loss

A very important part of tapping for losing weight is to help release the negative self-talk. When most of us see why we learned what we learned and that we are actually keeping ourselves safe somehow with the weight, we are less hard on ourselves.

And as you know, the Law of attraction works for good things and bad – so feeling terrible about yourself brings on more of the same. Positive affirmations won’t work until you believe them first. So, we need to work on those times where you learned that somehow being heavier is safer. No matter how ridiculous that may seem.

Don’t give up. Just keep doing the work – all kinds of other things clear up as you go along, but stubborn weight must really be keeping you safe! And sometimes it’s not so terrible to be a bit “overweight.” Don’t let today’s media or others tell you what is right for you – more to tap on, right?

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Karin Davidson Bio

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