I recently received this beautiful testimonial from a woman I’ll call “Jane” that I wanted to share with you:
“EFT profoundly changed my life by helping me release deeply rooted emotional blocks and reduce anxiety. For example, there was a time when I would feel overwhelmed by self-doubt before taking on new challenges. Through regular tapping sessions, I learned to identify and address the negative beliefs holding me back. Over time, I became more confident and calm, allowing me to approach opportunities with clarity and self-assurance. EFT gave me a tool to manage my emotions and improve my overall well-being.
It also helped me learn to accept things I cannot change. For example, I used to struggle with feelings of frustration and sadness over past situations that didn’t turn out the way I wanted. Through EFT, I learned how to release those emotions and instead embrace what happened. By tapping, I gradually felt a sense of inner peace and realized it’s okay not to have control over everything. Today, I find it easier to accept life as it is, without guilt or resistance.”
Reading Jane’s story brought a smile to my face – not just because it’s always wonderful to hear how Tapping has transformed someone’s life, but because her experience touches on something so universal. Who among us hasn’t felt that paralyzing self-doubt before taking on a new challenge? Or struggled to let go of situations from our past that didn’t unfold the way we had hoped?
What I love about Jane’s testimonial is how beautifully it illustrates two of the most powerful aspects of Tapping: its ability to help us break through emotional blocks that hold us back, and its capacity to facilitate true acceptance of what we cannot change.
Let’s explore both of these transformative dimensions of Tapping and how you might apply them in your own life.
The Neuroscience of Self-Doubt: Why Your Brain Gets Stuck
Have you ever noticed how self-doubt seems to strike at the worst possible moments? Just when you’re about to step outside your comfort zone — whether it’s applying for a new job, starting a conversation with someone you’re interested in, or sharing your creative work — that inner critic comes roaring to life.
This isn’t just bad timing; it’s actually your brain doing exactly what it evolved to do.
“Your brain has one primary job: keeping you alive. And for hundreds of thousands of years, staying alive meant staying safe within the boundaries of your tribe.”
Your brain has one primary job: keeping you alive. And for hundreds of thousands of years, staying alive meant staying safe within the boundaries of your tribe. Stepping out, standing apart, taking risks – these could get you exiled from your community, which historically meant almost certain death.
So that self-doubt you feel? It’s actually an ancient survival mechanism – your brain’s warning system telling you: “Danger! You’re about to stand out! You’re risking rejection! Get back where it’s safe!”
The problem is that this primitive survival circuit doesn’t understand that in today’s world, growth requires stepping beyond our comfort zones. Your nervous system is still running Stone Age software in a modern world.
When Jane describes being “overwhelmed by self-doubt before taking on new challenges,” she’s describing her nervous system going into protection mode. Her brain was sensing a potential threat (the possibility of failure or judgment) and activating a cascade of stress hormones and limiting thoughts to try to steer her back to safety.
The beauty of Tapping is that it speaks directly to this primitive part of the brain. When you tap on specific meridian points while acknowledging your feelings and thoughts, you’re essentially sending a calming signal to your amygdala (the brain’s alarm system) saying, “It’s okay, we’re safe, we don’t need this protection right now.”
Why Acceptance Is So Hard (And How Tapping Makes It Possible)
The second part of Jane’s story touches on something equally profound – the challenge of accepting what we cannot change.
Our brains are wired not just for survival, but for control. Having a sense of control over our environment has been vital to human survival. Studies show that a perceived lack of control activates the same neural circuits as physical pain. We’re literally hardwired to find lack of control distressing.
When Jane describes “struggling with feelings of frustration and sadness over past situations that didn’t turn out the way I wanted,” she’s describing this very human response to feeling a lack of control over outcomes that mattered to her.
The interesting paradox is that true acceptance – letting go of the need to control what cannot be controlled – actually gives us back a deeper form of control: control over our internal state and emotional response.
“You can’t think your way into acceptance. You can understand logically that you need to accept something, but that doesn’t mean your body and nervous system are on board.”
But here’s the catch: you can’t think your way into acceptance. You can understand logically that you need to accept something, but that doesn’t mean your body and nervous system are on board. That’s because emotions aren’t just thoughts — they’re physical experiences stored in your body.
This is where Tapping comes in. By physically tapping on meridian points while voicing our resistance to acceptance, we can process and release the emotions that are stored in our bodies. This allows us to move from intellectual understanding of the need for acceptance to embodied acceptance – a profound shift that Jane experienced firsthand.
Breaking Through Self-Doubt: A Tapping Approach
Let’s look at how we might use Tapping to work through self-doubt before taking on a new challenge, similar to what Jane described.
First, take a moment to identify a specific situation where self-doubt is holding you back. Maybe it’s applying for a promotion, speaking up in meetings, starting a creative project, or having a difficult conversation.
Now, rate your level of self-doubt on a scale from 0-10, with 10 being extremely intense.
Tapping on the side of the hand:
“Even though I feel this self-doubt about [specific situation], I deeply and completely accept myself.”
“Even though I’m afraid I might fail or be judged, I honor how I feel and I’m open to the possibility of seeing myself differently.”
“Even though part of me doesn’t believe I can do this, I accept all parts of myself and I choose to be kind to myself through this process.”
Eyebrow: “This overwhelming self-doubt”
Side of the eye: “I don’t think I can handle this challenge”
Under the eye: “What if I fail miserably?”
Under the nose: “What will others think of me?”
Under the mouth: “I don’t feel good enough for this”
Collarbone: “This self-doubt feels so familiar”
Under the arm: “It’s been with me for so long”
Top of the head: “This heavy feeling of not being enough”
Take a deep breath. Now let’s tap through another round, beginning to shift the energy:
Eyebrow: “I wonder where I learned I wasn’t capable”
Side of the eye: “When did I first start believing this about myself?”
Under the eye: “This doubt has been trying to protect me”
Under the nose: “Keeping me safe from taking risks”
Under the mouth: “But maybe I don’t need this protection anymore”
Collarbone: “What if I’m more capable than I realize?”
Under the arm: “What if this doubt is just an old pattern?”
Top of the head: “What if I can move beyond it?”
Take another deep breath and check in with your level of self-doubt. Has it shifted at all? Let’s do one more round with a more empowering focus:
Eyebrow: “It is safe to step into new challenges”
Side of the eye: “I’m allowed to learn as I go”
Under the eye: “I don’t have to be perfect”
Under the nose: “I can be patient with my growth process”
Under the mouth: “I acknowledge my courage in facing this doubt”
Collarbone: “I’m stronger than I give myself credit for”
Under the arm: “I can approach this challenge with curiosity instead of fear”
Top of the head: “I choose to believe in my capacity to grow”
Take a deep breath and again check your level of self-doubt. Notice how it might have shifted not just in intensity but also in quality.
Finding Peace Through Acceptance: A Tapping Sequence
Now let’s explore how we might use Tapping to work with accepting things we cannot change, as Jane described in her testimonial.
Think of a situation you’ve been struggling to accept. It might be a past disappointment, a relationship that ended, a missed opportunity, or any circumstance beyond your control that still causes emotional pain.
Rate your level of resistance to accepting this situation on a scale from 0-10.
Tapping on the side of the hand:
“Even though I can’t accept that [situation], and I still feel [emotion] about it, I deeply and completely accept myself and how I feel.”
“Even though part of me believes that accepting this means admitting defeat or saying it was okay, I’m open to the possibility that acceptance might bring me peace.”
“Even though I resist letting go of how I wanted things to be, I honor my feelings and I choose to be gentle with myself through this process.”
Eyebrow: “This resistance to accepting what happened”
Side of the eye: “It shouldn’t have been this way”
Under the eye: “I still feel upset when I think about it”
Under the nose: “If I accept it, it feels like I’m saying it was okay”
Under the mouth: “Part of me is still hoping it could somehow change”
Collarbone: “This painful situation I can’t seem to make peace with”
Under the arm: “I don’t want to accept it”
Top of the head: “All this resistance to what is”
Take a deep breath, and let’s continue with another round:
Eyebrow: “What if acceptance doesn’t mean approval?”
Side of the eye: “What if acceptance is simply acknowledging reality?”
Under the eye: “I can acknowledge what happened without liking it”
Under the nose: “Maybe accepting doesn’t mean I’m giving up”
Under the mouth: “Maybe it means I’m freeing myself”
Collarbone: “From the weight of fighting against reality”
Under the arm: “I wonder what energy would be available to me”
Top of the head: “If I wasn’t using it to resist what already is”
Take another deep breath. Let’s do one more round:
Eyebrow: “I’m allowed to make peace with my past”
Side of the eye: “I can release the burden of resistance”
Under the eye: “Acceptance doesn’t mean I forget”
Under the nose: “It means I choose not to carry the pain anymore”
Under the mouth: “I can honor what happened without staying stuck”
Collarbone: “I give myself permission to move forward”
Under the arm: “Peace is available to me right now”
Top of the head: “I choose acceptance and freedom”
Take a deep breath and check in with your level of resistance. Notice any shifts not just in intensity but in your perspective on acceptance itself.
The Deeper Layers: Identity and Worth
One thing I’ve noticed in working with thousands of people is that issues of self-doubt and difficulty with acceptance often have deeper layers related to our sense of identity and worth.
When we’ve spent years — sometimes decades — defining ourselves by certain beliefs (“I’m not good enough,” “I need to be in control,” “My worth depends on achievement”), challenging those beliefs can feel threatening to our very sense of self.
“Your nervous system is literally wired to maintain your current identity, even if aspects of it cause suffering.”
This explains why logical reasoning alone rarely changes these patterns. Your nervous system is literally wired to maintain your current identity, even if aspects of it cause suffering.
Jane touched on this when she mentioned “identifying and addressing the negative beliefs holding me back.” Tapping excels at gently reshaping these core identity beliefs because it works at the level of the nervous system, not just the thinking mind.
Here’s a tapping sequence for working with a deeper identity-level belief:
Tapping on the side of the hand:
“Even though I’ve believed I’m not good enough for as long as I can remember, and this belief feels like part of who I am, I deeply and completely accept myself.”
“Even though changing this belief feels scary because it’s been with me for so long, I’m open to the possibility of seeing myself in a new way.”
“Even though part of me wonders who I would be without this doubt, I accept all parts of myself and I’m curious about what might be possible for me.”
Eyebrow: “This belief that I’m not good enough”
Side of the eye: “It’s been with me for so long”
Under the eye: “It feels like part of who I am”
Under the nose: “Who would I be without this belief?”
Under the mouth: “It’s familiar, even if it’s painful”
Collarbone: “Part of me is afraid to let it go”
Under the arm: “As if I’d be losing part of myself”
Top of the head: “This deep, old belief about my worth”
Eyebrow: “What if my worth isn’t something I need to earn?”
Side of the eye: “What if it’s already there?”
Under the eye: “What if I’m more than this old story?”
Under the nose: “My nervous system has been stuck in this pattern”
Under the mouth: “But I can create new patterns now”
Collarbone: “I can rewrite this story about myself”
Under the arm: “I can form a new relationship with myself”
Top of the head: “Based on acceptance rather than doubt”
This kind of deep identity work takes time, but the shifts can be profound. As you tap on these deeper layers, you may find insights emerging about where these beliefs originated, and you may notice yourself naturally behaving differently in situations that used to trigger self-doubt or resistance.
The Power of Regular Practice: Small Shifts Lead to Big Changes
One particularly important point in Jane’s testimonial was her mention of “regular tapping sessions.” This highlights a crucial aspect of working with Tapping – consistency matters.
Think of Tapping as emotional fitness training for your nervous system. Just as you wouldn’t expect to transform your physical fitness with a single trip to the gym, transforming your emotional patterns requires regular practice.
“When you tap consistently – even for just a few minutes each day – you’re literally rewiring your brain’s default responses.”
When you tap consistently – even for just a few minutes each day – you’re literally rewiring your brain’s default responses. With each Tapping session, you’re strengthening neural pathways associated with calm, clarity, and confidence, while weakening those associated with stress, doubt, and resistance.
What makes this process so powerful is that these small, incremental shifts compound over time. You might not notice dramatic changes after a single Tapping session (though that can happen), but after weeks or months of regular practice, you may suddenly realize that situations that once triggered intense self-doubt now feel manageable, or that you’ve made peace with aspects of your past that once caused deep pain.
This is the journey Jane described – from being “overwhelmed by self-doubt” to approaching opportunities with “clarity and self-assurance,” and from struggling with “frustration and sadness” about the past to finding it “easier to accept life as it is.”
Beyond Self-Doubt and Acceptance: Expanding Possibilities
As Jane discovered, the benefits of Tapping extend far beyond just reducing anxiety or facilitating acceptance. When we clear these emotional blocks, we create space for new possibilities.
Think of it this way: if a significant portion of your mental and emotional energy is tied up in self-doubt or resistance to what is, that’s energy that’s not available for creativity, connection, joy, or growth.
By using Tapping to release these blocks, you’re essentially freeing up your internal resources. It’s like removing clutter from a room – suddenly there’s space to breathe, move, and create.
This explains why people who practice Tapping regularly often report unexpected positive changes in areas of their lives that weren’t even the focus of their tapping. When you’re not constantly battling your nervous system, life simply flows more easily.
Your Invitation to Transformation
Jane’s story reminds us that transformation is possible. The self-doubt that feels overwhelming today doesn’t have to be your companion forever. The past situations that still cause pain can be released, allowing you to move forward with greater peace and clarity.
I invite you to try the Tapping sequences we’ve explored in this post. Notice what shifts for you – whether it’s a change in emotional intensity, a new perspective, or simply a moment of greater ease in your body.
Remember that transformation is a process, not an event. Be patient with yourself. Celebrate the small shifts. Trust that each time you tap, you’re creating meaningful change in your nervous system, even if you don’t immediately feel it.
And know that you’re not alone on this journey. Countless others, like Jane, have walked this path before you, moving from self-doubt to self-assurance, from resistance to acceptance, from limitation to possibility.
Looking for more support with self-doubt and acceptance?
- The Tapping Solution App – Features specific meditations for overcoming self-doubt and fostering acceptance. Here are a few meditations in the app I recommend:
Note: You can access these meditations by clicking the links above using your mobile device, or type the name of the meditation into The Tapping Solution App’s search function.
- Find a Certified EFT Practitioner – For personalized guidance on addressing deeper patterns and creating new patterns that support you in every way.
I’d love to hear about your experiences with Tapping for self-doubt or acceptance. Have you noticed shifts similar to what Jane described? Are there particular challenges you’re working with? Share your thoughts in the comments below.
Until next time… Keep Tapping!
Nick Ortner