Tapping for the Whole Family: How EFT Can Transform Emotions, Careers, Finances, and Physical Pain

I recently received this email that really resonated with me:

“Okay, here’s a few things:

• I’d like to help my 10-year-old better control her emotions, be happier and focus on the positive instead of dwelling on the negative.
• I’d like to help my husband get out of the rut he’s in and find his way to his next career path.
• I’d like for our family to be completely financially secure.
• I have a pinched nerve in my left shoulder that I can’t quite seem to shake.

If tapping can help with any or all of that, I’m all ears!”

As I read this message, I couldn’t help but smile. Not because these challenges are simple — they’re not — but because they’re so beautifully human. This email captures what so many of us are dealing with: trying to help our children navigate their emotions, supporting our partners through life transitions, seeking financial peace of mind, and dealing with our own physical pain.

And what struck me most was the hopeful question at the end: “If tapping can help with any or all of that, I’m all ears!”

The short answer? Yes. Tapping can absolutely help with all of these things. But let’s talk about the how and why.

Starting with Your 10-Year-Old: Emotions Are Messengers

When it comes to helping children manage their emotions, I think it’s helpful to first recognize that emotions—even the uncomfortable ones—are actually serving an important purpose. They’re messengers, trying to tell us something.

“For a 10-year-old, dwelling on the negative isn’t a character flaw. It’s their brain’s negativity bias in action.”

Think about it this way: For a 10-year-old, dwelling on the negative isn’t a character flaw. It’s their brain’s negativity bias in action, that same survival mechanism we all have that causes us to pay more attention to potential threats than to safety and peace.

Your daughter’s brain is simply doing what it evolved to do: scan for problems and protect her from them by keeping them front and center in her awareness.

The trick isn’t to eliminate negative emotions—that’s not possible or even desirable. The goal is to help her create a healthier relationship with all her emotions, and to build the capacity to shift toward more positive states when needed.

Here’s how Tapping can help:

1. Make Tapping Playful and Age-Appropriate

For a 10-year-old, introducing Tapping as a serious therapy might be met with resistance. Instead, try making it a game:

• Create a “Tapping Superhero” persona who has the power to zap (or tap!) away bad feelings
• Use stuffed animals to demonstrate Tapping points
• Make up silly rhymes to use while Tapping on different points
• Use our Kids Quick Taps category in The Tapping Solution App (this video collection is guided by kids!)

One of my favorite approaches with kids this age is to have them become “Emotion Scientists” who are studying their feelings. “What does anger feel like in your body? Where does it live? What color is it? If it could talk, what would it say?”

2. Teach the Basic Points with a Story

Kids love stories, so frame the Tapping points in a fun way, like a story! My brother Alex wrote a whole children’s book on this topic, called Gorilla Thumps and Bear Hugs.

3. Start with Physical Sensations

Instead of diving straight into emotions (which can be abstract), begin with physical sensations:

“Even though I feel this buzzy feeling in my tummy when I get nervous about school…”

“Even though my chest feels tight when I get angry at my brother…”

4. Use Their Language

This is crucial. When your daughter expresses her feelings, use her exact words in the Tapping phrases. If she says she feels “like everyone is being mean and the whole day is ruined,” don’t translate that to “feeling sad about friendships.” Use her words: “Even though I feel like everyone is being mean and the whole day is ruined…”

5. Balance Acceptance with Possibility

The setup phrase in Tapping is powerful for kids because it teaches them that they can both acknowledge difficult feelings AND be okay:

“Even though I feel really mad right now, I’m still a good kid.”
“Even though I’m stuck thinking about the bad things, I’m awesome and my brain is just trying to protect me.”

A Simple Tapping Sequence for Your Daughter

Here’s a basic sequence you might try:

For Your Husband: When the Path Forward Isn’t Clear

Career transitions can be some of the most stressful times in our lives. Our work is often tied to our identity, our sense of purpose, and of course, our financial security. When someone is in a “rut,” as you described your husband, there’s usually more going on beneath the surface.

In my experience, career ruts typically involve a complex mix of:

• Fear of the unknown/failure if they make a change
• Grief about letting go of the familiar
• Confusion about what truly brings them fulfillment
• Overwhelm at the thought of starting over
• Self-doubt about their abilities
• Pressure (both internal and external) to make the “right” choice

Tapping can help address all of these emotional components, which often do more to keep us stuck than actual external obstacles.

What You Can Do (and What You Can’t)

First, it’s important to recognize that while you can support your husband, his career journey is ultimately his own. The most loving thing you can do is create a safe space for exploration while managing your own anxiety about his situation.

“One of the most helpful things you can do is tap on your own feelings about your husband’s situation.”

Here’s how Tapping can help both of you:

1. Tap on Your Own Feelings First

This might sound counterintuitive, but one of the most helpful things you can do is tap on your own feelings about your husband’s situation. Do you feel worried? Impatient? Concerned about finances? Tapping on these feelings will help you be more present and supportive.

A sequence might look like:

Then tap through the points on your own concerns. This creates space for you to be more patient and understanding.

2. Invite Him to Tap on the Emotional Blocks

If your husband is open to tapping, he might start with phrases like:

3. Explore Values and Interests Through Tapping

Sometimes the best way forward is to tap while exploring questions like:

• “What did I love doing as a child?”
• “When do I lose track of time because I’m so engaged?”
• “What problems do I enjoy solving?”
• “What kinds of activities make me feel most alive?”

Tapping while reflecting on these questions can help quiet the mental noise and allow deeper insights to emerge.

Financial Security: Addressing the Emotional Side of Money

When you mention wanting complete financial security for your family, I hear an understandable desire for safety and freedom from financial worry. The truth is, our financial reality is influenced by both external factors (economy, job market, opportunities) and internal factors (our beliefs about money, our emotional patterns, our comfort with receiving).

Tapping can’t directly deposit money in your bank account (wouldn’t that be nice?), but it can help transform the internal landscape that affects your financial decisions and opportunities.

The Big Money Emotions

In my years of working with people on financial issues, I’ve noticed several core emotions that commonly appear:

• Worry and anxiety about not having enough
• Shame about past financial decisions
• Guilt about wanting more
• Resentment toward those who seem to have financial ease
• Fear of taking financial risks, even calculated ones
• Scarcity mindset — the feeling that there will never be enough

Tapping can help release these emotions and create space for healthier financial patterns to emerge.

A Family Approach to Financial Tapping

Since you mentioned wanting financial security for your family, consider making this a family project. Here’s how:

1. Clear Your Own Money Blocks First

Start by tapping on your own feelings about money. Some starting phrases might be:

2. Include Your Husband in Financial Tapping

Since his career transition and your financial security are connected, Tapping together on financial concerns might be especially powerful. This creates alignment and helps ensure you’re operating as a team.

3. Teach Your Daughter Healthy Money Attitudes Early

While you don’t want to burden your 10-year-old with adult financial concerns, you can help her develop healthy money attitudes through simple Tapping:

Keep the focus age-appropriate, emphasizing gratitude for what you have while being open to abundance.

That Pinched Nerve: Physical Pain Has Emotional Components

Now, let’s talk about that pinched nerve in your shoulder. While Tapping isn’t a substitute for appropriate medical care (make sure to see a doctor to get appropriate medical attention!), it can be remarkably effective for pain relief in many cases.

Pain often has both physical and emotional components. The physical cause might be muscular tension, inflammation, or structural issues, but our emotional state can amplify or reduce our experience of that pain.

The Pain-Emotion Connection

Consider these questions about your shoulder pain:

• When did it first begin? Was there a particularly stressful time in your life?
• Does the pain get worse when you’re stressed or worried?
• Is there a metaphorical “burden” you’ve been carrying on your shoulders?
• Are there emotions you associate with this pain — frustration, limitation, feeling unsupported?

Tapping on both the physical sensations and the emotional associations can bring relief.

“Pain often has both physical and emotional components. Our emotional state can amplify or reduce our experience of that pain.”

A Tapping Sequence for Your Shoulder Pain

For physical issues, it often helps to be very specific about the sensations. Is it sharp, dull, throbbing, burning? Where exactly is it located? Tap on the precise details of your experience. It can also be helpful to explore what emotions might be held in that part of the body or associated with that sensation.

Bringing It All Together: A Family Tapping Practice

What strikes me about your email is that each of these concerns—your daughter’s emotions, your husband’s career, your family finances, and your physical pain—are all connected within your family system. When one person experiences stress or undergoes a transition, everyone feels it in some way.

What if you could create a family Tapping practice that acknowledges this interconnection?

Here’s what that might look like:

1. Family Tapping Time

Set aside 5-10 minutes a few times a week where everyone taps together. You might take turns choosing what to focus on, or have a theme for each session.

2. Tapping Check-ins

Create a simple scale to check in with each other. “On a scale of 1-10, how’s your stress level right now?” If someone is above a 5, take a minute to tap together.

3. Celebration Tapping

Use Tapping to amplify positive experiences too! When something good happens, tap while focusing on the feelings of joy, pride, or accomplishment. This helps train everyone’s brain (especially your daughter’s) to notice and savor the positive.

4. Bedtime Tapping Routine

A few minutes of Tapping before bed can help everyone release the day’s stress and prepare for restful sleep.

The Ripple Effect

One of the most beautiful things I’ve witnessed over the years is how Tapping creates a ripple effect in families. When one person begins to shift their emotional patterns, it creates space for others to do the same.

Your daughter, watching you manage your own emotions through Tapping, learns a powerful lesson about emotional regulation.

Your husband, seeing how Tapping helps you deal with your shoulder pain, might become more open to trying it for his career confusion.

And as both of you shift into more positive states, your collective ability to make wise financial decisions and recognize opportunities naturally improves.

This is the domino effect of emotional healing—one small change creates the possibility for many more.

“This is the domino effect of emotional healing—one small change creates the possibility for many more.”

Starting Small, Dreaming Big

As you begin incorporating Tapping into your family life, remember that small, consistent steps are more powerful than occasional big efforts.

A few minutes of Tapping each day, done consistently, will create more lasting change than an hour-long session once a month.

Begin with whatever feels most accessible. Maybe that’s Tapping for your shoulder pain, since it’s your own experience and directly affects your comfort. Or perhaps starting with your daughter feels more natural, as children often take to Tapping quickly and show results that can inspire the rest of the family.

Final Thoughts: You’re Already on the Right Path

The very fact that you reached out shows something important: you’re actively seeking solutions. You’re not passively accepting challenges but looking for tools to transform them.

That proactive stance is half the battle already won.

Tapping can absolutely help with each of the concerns you’ve mentioned. It might not happen overnight, but with consistent practice, you’ll likely start noticing subtle shifts—a moment of unexpected calm, a creative idea about finances, your daughter bouncing back more quickly from disappointment, your husband mentioning a new interest.

These small moments compound over time, creating the foundation for the larger transformations you’re seeking.

I’d love to hear how tapping works for your family. Remember, the journey of becoming your greatest self—individually and as a family—isn’t about perfection. It’s about progress, presence, and peace along the way.

Ready to get started with tapping for your family?

• The Tapping Solution App – Includes specific meditations for children, career challenges, abundance, and pain relief. Here are some suggestions:
  • Kids Quick Taps – Short 2-minute guided sessions for 8-12 year olds, led by kids themselves!
  • Wealth and Abundance Category – Sessions designed to help you release any mental blocks so that you can allow new and fresh opportunities to enter your life – and increase your financial opportunities!
  • Pain Relief Category – Sessions to help with all sorts of different pain
  • Daily Guidance Card Deck – A 52-card deck that could be a fun way to choose a short Tapping meditation to do as a family each day.
• Tapping for Kids – Resources specifically designed for children
• Find a Certified EFT Practitioner – For personalized guidance on your specific challenges

Have you used Tapping to help your children with emotional regulation? Or have you experienced relief from physical pain through EFT? Share your experiences in the comments below!

Until next time… Keep Tapping!
Nick Ortner