I recently received this thoughtful question from Ann:
“I haven’t tried ‘tapping’ although I did watch an introduction. My only goal in life right now is to live in the ‘NOW’. I have no real problems, yet I’m not experiencing joy and peace, just worry over stuff that hasn’t happened. It is pathetic!! Can ‘tapping’ help? Thanks!”
Ann, first of all, please know that what you’re experiencing isn’t pathetic—it’s completely human. Our brains are literally wired to worry about the future, even when there are no immediate problems demanding our attention.
What you’re describing is something I hear all the time: “I should be happy. My life is good. So why am I constantly anxious about things that haven’t even happened yet?”
This disconnect—between knowing intellectually that things are okay and actually feeling peace and joy—is precisely the gap that Tapping helps bridge. It’s not just about addressing problems; it’s about reconnecting with positive emotions that might be blocked by an overactive nervous system.
Let’s dive deeper into what’s really happening when we’re stuck in worry mode despite having “no real problems,” and how Tapping can help bring you back to the present moment where joy and peace become accessible again.
Why We Worry About Things That Haven’t Happened
That feeling of constantly worrying about what might happen—even when your rational mind knows everything is fine right now—isn’t a character flaw or a sign of weakness. It’s actually your brain doing exactly what it evolved to do: scan for potential threats to keep you safe.
The Primitive Brain’s Time-Traveling Tendency
Our “primitive brain” (particularly the amygdala) is constantly scanning for potential dangers. This was incredibly useful for our ancestors who needed to anticipate threats to survive. Is there a predator nearby? Will there be enough food? What if the weather changes?
The problem is, this threat-detection system doesn’t distinguish between physical dangers and the complex psychological concerns of modern life. It treats potential job stress, relationship worries, and health anxieties with the same urgency as a predator lurking in the bushes.
When there aren’t immediate problems to solve, this system doesn’t just shut down and enjoy the peace. Instead, it often creates “what if” scenarios to stay vigilant:
- “What if I get sick next month?”
- “What if my retirement savings aren’t enough?”
- “What if something happens to someone I love?”
These concerns feel real to your nervous system, triggering stress responses even though these events haven’t happened and may never happen.
The Joy-Blocking Effect of Worry
When your nervous system is stuck in this constant state of low-grade alert, it literally blocks your ability to experience joy and peace. Here’s why:
Your brain can’t be in threat-detection mode and relaxation mode simultaneously. These are controlled by different branches of your autonomic nervous system:
- The sympathetic branch handles fight-or-flight responses (worry, stress, anxiety)
- The parasympathetic branch manages rest-and-digest functions (peace, joy, presence)
When you’re caught in worry, your sympathetic nervous system dominates, making it nearly impossible to access those positive emotional states you’re yearning for.
The “Now” Paradox: Why Being Present Is Simple But Not Easy
It’s interesting that you mention your goal is to “live in the NOW.” This desire to be present is powerful, but there’s an important paradox at work here that helps explain why simply trying to “be present” often doesn’t work.
When we try to force ourselves to be present while our nervous system is stuck in worry mode, we’re actually fighting against our own biology. It’s like trying to relax by tensing all your muscles—it creates an internal conflict rather than resolution.
This is why mindfulness practices alone can sometimes feel frustrating. You sit down to meditate, focus on your breath, and your mind immediately floods with worries about the future. You might then judge yourself for “failing” at mindfulness, creating even more stress.
What’s missing is a way to communicate safety directly to your nervous system—to tell your primitive brain “it’s okay to let go of vigilance for now” in a language it actually understands.
How Tapping Speaks Your Nervous System’s Language
This is where Tapping comes in, and why it can be so effective for your specific situation. Tapping isn’t just another way to try to think positively or force yourself to be present. It’s a technique that works directly with your nervous system, using physical touch combined with verbal acknowledgment to create a biological shift.
When you tap on specific acupressure points while acknowledging your worries, several important things happen:
- The physical act of tapping sends calming signals directly to your amygdala, reducing its alarm response
- Verbalizing your worries while physically relaxing creates a powerful contradiction that helps your brain update its threat assessment
- Your nervous system begins to shift from sympathetic dominance to parasympathetic activation, creating the biological conditions where peace and joy can naturally emerge
- Your brain’s attentional networks shift from future-focused worry to present-moment awareness
Research has shown that Tapping significantly reduces cortisol (the stress hormone) levels—by an average of 43% after just one session. This physiological shift creates the conditions where being present becomes possible without effort.
A Tapping Approach to Try
Let me share a Tapping approach specifically designed for your situation—when you have “no real problems” but still can’t access joy and peace due to persistent worry about future possibilities.
I like this approach because it helps transition your nervous system from the contracted state of worry to the expanded state of wonder and appreciation that naturally exists in the present moment.
Start by identifying a specific worry that frequently pulls you out of the present. For example, “I worry that something will go wrong with my health” or “I worry that I’m missing out on opportunities.”
Next, rate how intense this worry feels on a scale of 0-10, with 10 being the most intense.
Tapping on the side of the hand:
“Even though I keep worrying about things that haven’t happened yet, and it’s preventing me from experiencing joy in the present moment, I deeply and completely accept myself.”
“Even though part of my brain is always scanning for potential problems, I understand this is how I’m wired for protection, and I accept myself with compassion.”
“Even though I call myself pathetic for this worry habit, the truth is that I’m simply human, and I choose to be kind to myself as I learn to relate differently to these worries.”
Eyebrow: “This constant worry about what might happen”
Side of the eye: “My mind is always jumping to the future”
Under the eye: “Missing the peace that’s available right now”
Under the nose: “Always preparing for problems that don’t exist yet”
Under the mouth: “It feels impossible to just be present”
Collarbone: “My nervous system is stuck in protection mode”
Under the arm: “Always scanning for what might go wrong”
Top of the head: “Unable to access the joy that’s right here”
Eyebrow: “I understand why my brain does this”
Side of the eye: “It’s trying to keep me safe”
Under the eye: “But it’s exhausting to always be preparing”
Under the nose: “For things that may never happen”
Under the mouth: “I’m ready for a different experience”
Collarbone: “My nervous system can learn something new”
Under the arm: “It can learn to rest in the present”
Top of the head: “Where peace is actually available”
Eyebrow: “What if I don’t need to figure everything out?”
Side of the eye: “What if this moment is actually safe?”
Under the eye: “What if my worry isn’t protecting me?”
Under the nose: “But actually keeping me from joy”
Under the mouth: “I can feel my body beginning to relax”
Collarbone: “Noticing what’s actually happening right now”
Under the arm: “The sights, sounds, and sensations of this moment”
Top of the head: “Allowing presence to happen naturally”
Take a deep breath and check in with yourself. Notice how your body feels, and rate your worry level again on that 0-10 scale.
You may notice at least some shift after this sequence. If you’re still feeling significant worry, continue with more rounds, getting more specific about your particular worries if needed.
Beyond Tapping: Complementary Practices for Present-Moment Joy
While Tapping is powerful on its own, combining it with other practices can amplify your ability to live in the “now” and access joy and peace. Here are some approaches that work particularly well alongside Tapping:
1. The “Five Senses Check-In”
After a Tapping session, when your nervous system is already more regulated, practice this quick grounding technique:
- Name 5 things you can see
- Name 4 things you can touch/feel
- Name 3 things you can hear
- Name 2 things you can smell
- Name 1 thing you can taste
This simple practice helps anchor your attention in your sensory experience of the present moment, making it harder for your mind to drift into future worries.
2. Joy Spotting
Our brains have a negativity bias, which means they naturally spotlight potential problems while overlooking sources of joy. Counteract this by intentionally “spotting” moments of joy throughout your day:
- The warmth of sunlight on your skin
- The taste of your morning coffee
- A bird singing outside your window
- A moment of connection with another person
- A small accomplishment or moment of ease
After Tapping, your nervous system is more receptive to noticing these joy moments that might otherwise fly under the radar.
3. “And This Too” Mindfulness
When worries arise (as they inevitably will), rather than trying to suppress them or feeling guilty about them, practice this gentle approach:
- Notice the worry thought
- Acknowledge it with a gentle “And this too is part of my experience”
- Place your hand on your heart or tap briefly on the karate chop point
- Gently return your attention to the present moment
This practice helps you develop a different relationship with worry thoughts as they arise, seeing them as passing mental events rather than urgent problems requiring immediate attention.
The Positive Tapping Approach: Actively Cultivating Joy
So far, we’ve focused on releasing worry, but Tapping can also be used proactively to cultivate positive emotions like the ones you’re looking for—joy and peace. Here’s a sequence specifically designed to help you connect with positive emotions that may feel elusive right now:
Tapping on the side of the hand:
“Even though joy feels distant right now, I’m open to the possibility that I can tap into feelings of peace and contentment.”
“Even though I’ve been focusing on what might go wrong, I give myself permission to notice what’s going right.”
“Even though it feels unfamiliar to focus on positive emotions, I’m curious about what might emerge when I allow myself to experience joy.”
Eyebrow: “I give myself permission to feel joy”
Side of the eye: “Even when there’s no special reason”
Under the eye: “Joy doesn’t need a justification”
Under the nose: “Peace and joy are available in ordinary moments”
Under the mouth: “I’m allowed to feel good right now”
Collarbone: “Even with uncertainty in life”
Under the arm: “I can choose to focus on what brings me joy”
Top of the head: “Opening myself to positive feelings”
Eyebrow: “What small joys am I overlooking?”
Side of the eye: “What simple pleasures surround me?”
Under the eye: “I notice the good in this moment”
Under the nose: “My body knows how to feel peace”
Under the mouth: “I give it permission to relax now”
Collarbone: “Feeling a sense of ease spreading”
Under the arm: “Gratitude for this present moment”
Top of the head: “Available exactly as it is”
Take a deep breath and notice if you can identify even small flickers of positive emotion—a slight sense of relief, a moment of curiosity, a brief feeling of contentment. Sometimes joy begins as a subtle shift before it grows stronger.
The “Both/And” Perspective: A Framework for Living in the Now
One concept I’ve found particularly helpful when working with clients in your situation is what we can call the “Both/And” perspective. This is a framework for relating to worry in a way that allows more presence and joy.
The “Both/And” perspective recognizes that:
- You can both acknowledge future uncertainties AND enjoy the present moment
- You can both prepare appropriately for challenges AND not live in constant anxiety
- You can both be a responsible person AND let go of excessive worry
This perspective helps break the false dichotomy that many of us unconsciously hold—that we must either worry constantly to be responsible or ignore potential problems to be happy. The truth is much more nuanced, and Tapping helps us embody this more balanced perspective.
Why Your Situation Isn’t “Pathetic”—It’s an Opportunity
Ann, I want to circle back to what you said about your situation being “pathetic.” This self-judgment actually reflects something quite beautiful about you—that you recognize the gap between your current experience and what’s possible. You can see that joy and peace are available, even if they feel out of reach right now.
So first of all, I want to remind you to be kind to yourself, and treat yourself with compassion and understanding.
The awareness you are displaying is the essential first step toward change—and that’s something to celebrate! Many people never even recognize that they’re living in worry about hypothetical futures. They simply accept it as “the way life is” and never question whether a different experience is possible.
Your desire to live in the “now” and experience more joy and peace isn’t pathetic—it’s the beginning of a profound shift. It’s your inner wisdom recognizing that there’s more available to you than what you’re currently experiencing.
Tapping is particularly well-suited to help with this shift because it works with both your conscious awareness AND your subconscious nervous system patterns. It honors both your intellectual understanding AND your emotional experience, helping bring them into alignment.
The Gift of Your Question
Ann, I want to thank you for your question because it highlights something so important: Tapping isn’t just for people with obvious problems or diagnosed conditions. It’s for anyone who wants to experience more joy, peace, and presence in their daily life.
The gap between knowing intellectually that we “should” be happy and actually feeling that happiness is a common human experience. Tapping helps bridge that gap by addressing the nervous system patterns that so often keep us stuck in worry and prevent us from fully experiencing the present moment.
I believe that as you begin to work with these Tapping approaches, you’ll start to notice small windows where worry subsides and present-moment awareness naturally arises. These windows tend to grow larger and more frequent with practice, gradually shifting your default state from worry to presence—exactly the goal you’re seeking.
Would you be willing to try Tapping for just 5 minutes a day for one week and notice what changes? Sometimes the shifts are subtle at first—a moment of spontaneous joy, a brief period of not worrying, falling asleep more easily—but they tend to build on one another over time.
Looking for support? These resources can help
- The Tapping Solution App – offers guided Tapping meditations specifically designed to help with worry, anxiety, and cultivating positive emotions. Here are a few I’d suggest:
- Help Me Stop Worrying – Specifically designed to help shift your thought patterns from worry to a place of presence and peace.
- Micro Boost of Presence – A quick (3 minute) session to help you relax into the present moment.
- Anxiety Soother Card Deck – This deck of 52 cards is a wonderful way to connect with a soothing message anytime you need it. Each card links to a 2 min video Tapping session called a Quick Tap. It’s amazing how just a minute or two of Tapping can help retrain our minds and bodies to be present and to enjoy the good in our lives.
- From Fear and Worry to Peace – This is a longer session that will take you through a process of acknowledging any fear or worry so you can shift things on a deep level and connect with a state of peace and ease.
- Calm Your Racing Thoughts – This Tapping meditation is designed to help you break free from racing thoughts and quiet mental overwhelm. As you tap along you’ll unhook from negative thought loops, ground yourself in the present moment, and find more ease. Perfect for when your mind feels scattered, anxious, or stuck in worry.
- 8 Day Positive Emotions Challenge – This 8 Day Challenge is an awesome way to consciously cultivate positive emotions like peace, joy, self-love, gratitude, and more!
- Find a Certified EFT Practitioner – If you’d like personalized guidance on using Tapping to help with your specific situation.
Note: You can access these meditations by clicking the links above using your mobile device, or type the name of the meditation into The Tapping Solution App’s search function.
I’d love to hear how Tapping works for you once you’ve had a chance to try it. Have you noticed any small moments where worry subsides and present-moment awareness grows? What changes have you observed in your ability to experience joy and peace? Share your experiences in the comments below!
Until next time… Keep Tapping!
Nick Ortner