Breaking Through the Fear of Your Own Power: A Tapping Guide to Claiming Your True Greatness

Here’s a question that landed in my inbox recently:

“Hi, Nick. I want to use tapping more to help my fear of claiming my true power and allowing and trusting myself to be big in this world. Thanks so much for all of your work. – Kathleen”

Kathleen, first off, thank you for sharing this. Your question gets to the heart of something I see over and over again—not just in my work, but in my own life. The fear of stepping into our true power, of being “big” in the world, is one of the most common yet rarely discussed struggles we face.

And here’s what’s fascinating: you’re not afraid of failing. You’re afraid of succeeding. You’re afraid of what might happen if you actually claimed your power and let yourself be seen for who you truly are.

What Do We Really Mean by “Power” and “Playing Big”?

Before we go deeper, let’s clarify what we’re actually talking about here. When I use the word “power,” I’m not referring to power over others or dominance. I’m talking about your authentic personal power—the ability to:

• Express your true thoughts and feelings without apology
• Set healthy boundaries that honor your needs
• Pursue your goals and dreams without shrinking yourself
• Take up space in conversations and relationships
• Use your unique gifts and talents fully
• Make decisions that align with your values
• Stand up for what you believe in
• Charge what you’re worth and ask for what you need

“Playing big” isn’t about being arrogant or self-centered. It’s about showing up as your full, authentic self rather than a diminished version of who you really are. It’s about stepping into your potential instead of hiding behind excuses about why you can’t.

For some people, claiming their power might mean becoming a CEO or writing a bestselling book. For others, it might mean having an honest conversation with their partner or saying no to commitments that drain their energy. The specifics don’t matter—what matters is that you’re operating from your authentic self rather than from fear.

The Science Behind the Fear of Our Own Power

Your brain has one primary job: keep you alive. For our ancestors, standing out from the tribe could literally mean death. So our brains developed sophisticated systems to help us stay safely within the bounds of what’s socially acceptable.

When you consider stepping into your power, your nervous system interprets this as a potential threat to your belonging. Your amygdala—the brain’s alarm system—gets triggered, sending stress signals throughout your body, creating that familiar feeling of anxiety or resistance.

This is where Tapping becomes incredibly powerful. By tapping on the meridian points while acknowledging these fears, you’re sending calming signals directly to your nervous system. You’re teaching your brain that it’s safe to be powerful, safe to be seen, safe to be big.

The “Tall Poppy” Syndrome and Where the Fear Begins

There’s a phenomenon called “tall poppy syndrome”—the tendency for others to cut down those who rise above or achieve success. But here’s what’s fascinating: many of us start cutting ourselves down first, before anyone else even gets the chance. We do this preemptively, out of fear that others will do it to us if we dare to stand too tall.

The fear of claiming our power rarely develops in adulthood—it usually has roots in our earliest experiences. Sometimes it’s obvious: a parent who told you not to “show off,” a teacher who punished you for speaking up, or childhood experiences where being noticed led to criticism or rejection.

But often it’s more subtle. Maybe you watched successful people in your family get torn down behind their backs. Maybe you learned that “good girls” don’t ask for what they want, or that being powerful means being aggressive. Maybe you absorbed the message that confident people are selfish, or that success comes at the expense of relationships.

These patterns often start incredibly young. Picture a child who’s excited about winning a school competition, only to have a parent tell them not to “show off” because it would make other kids feel bad. That child learns that success means making others uncomfortable, and that their excitement about their own achievements is somehow wrong. Decades later, they might still be unconsciously cutting themselves down before anyone else can do it for them.

These early experiences don’t just create beliefs—they create nervous system responses. Your body learned that claiming power equals danger, so every time you consider stepping up, your stress response gets activated. You might feel tension in your chest, a knot in your stomach, or that familiar urge to shrink back and stay quiet.

The good news? What was learned can be unlearned. Through Tapping, you can help your nervous system recognize that it’s now safe to be powerful, safe to be seen, safe to take up space.

Your Power Isn’t a Zero-Sum Game

Here’s something crucial to understand: your power isn’t taking power away from anyone else. When you step into your greatness, you’re not diminishing others—you’re actually giving them permission to do the same.

Think about the people in your life who inspire you most. Are they the ones who play small and apologize for their gifts? Or are they the ones who fully own their talents and use them to contribute something meaningful to the world?

The Subtle Art of Self-Sabotage

Here’s something I see constantly in my work: people who get right to the edge of a breakthrough and then unconsciously sabotage themselves. They procrastinate on the important project, say something inappropriate in a crucial meeting, or find reasons to avoid opportunities that could showcase their abilities.

Self-sabotage isn’t about being lazy or lacking willpower. It’s actually a sophisticated protective mechanism. When your unconscious mind perceives that you’re about to step into your power, it creates obstacles to keep you “safe” in familiar territory.

Common self-sabotage patterns include:

• Perfectionism paralysis: Setting impossibly high standards so you never have to actually put yourself out there
• Procrastination: Putting off important tasks until the last minute, ensuring mediocre results
• Picking fights: Creating drama or conflict when things are going well
• Imposter syndrome spirals: Convincing yourself you’re not qualified just as opportunities arise
• Playing small: Downplaying your achievements or deflecting compliments
• Overwhelm: Taking on too much so you have an excuse not to focus on what really matters

The key insight is that self-sabotage is actually self-protection in disguise. Your unconscious mind would rather you stay small and safe than risk the unknown territory of fully claiming your power. When you notice these behaviors coming up, that’s your cue to pause, acknowledge the fear, and do some Tapping to help rewire the nervous system response.

Fear of Rejection for Stepping into Our Success

Let’s work with some of these fears of being powerful and stepping into our greatness directly.

Begin by rating your fear of claiming your power on a scale of 0-10, with 10 being the most intense.

Take a deep breath and notice how you feel. If there’s still intensity around claiming your power, continue tapping with whatever words feel true for you.

Power Is a Practice, Not a Destination

One of the biggest mistakes people make is thinking claiming power is a one-time decision. They wait for the moment when they’ll feel completely confident, completely ready, completely fearless. But that moment rarely comes.

Claiming your power is an incremental process built through small, consistent actions over time. Each time you speak up, set a boundary, or charge what you’re worth, you’re practicing being powerful. Your nervous system gradually learns that it’s safe to be bigger, to take up more space, to express your authentic self.

Some days you’ll feel more powerful than others. Some days you’ll revert to old patterns. This isn’t failure—it’s human. The goal isn’t perfect confidence all the time. The goal is building a practice of choosing power over protection, expansion over contraction, courage over comfort.

This is why Tapping is so effective for this work. It helps you process the emotional resistance that comes up each time you stretch beyond your comfort zone. It teaches your nervous system that growth is safe, that being seen is safe, that claiming your power is safe.

And sometimes, even when we understand that power is a practice, we still hit internal walls and resistance. Let’s tap on those fears:

Releasing Internal Fears About Our Power

The Ripple Effect of Claiming Your Power

When you step into your power, you give others permission to do the same. Your courage becomes contagious. Your willingness to be big creates space for others to expand as well.

Your power isn’t just for you. It’s for everyone whose life you’ll touch when you fully show up as yourself. It’s for the people who need to hear your voice, experience your gifts, and benefit from your unique contribution to the world.

Practical Steps for Claiming Your Power

Beyond Tapping, here are practical ways to gradually step into your power:

Start with Micro-Moments of Power

Choose tiny moments throughout your day to practice claiming your power. Maybe it’s speaking up in a meeting, expressing your opinion when asked, or maintaining eye contact when someone gives you a compliment. These micro-moments build new neural pathways.

Build Your Evidence File

Counter your brain’s negativity bias by documenting moments when you did claim your power. Keep notes of times you spoke up, set boundaries, or took action despite fear. This becomes proof that you are capable of being powerful.

Practice Self-Compassion During Setbacks

You’re going to revert to old patterns sometimes. When these moments happen, practice self-compassion. Remember that claiming your power is a practice, not a performance.

Moving Forward: Your Next Steps

Kathleen, and everyone else reading this, I want you to consider this: What would be possible if you stopped being afraid of your own power? What would you create? What would you contribute? Who would you become?

Remember, claiming your power is not a destination—it’s a practice. Some days you’ll feel more powerful than others, and that’s perfectly normal. The key is to keep showing up, keep tapping, and keep trusting yourself to grow into the fullness of who you’re meant to be.

Start with Tapping. Use the sequences I’ve shared to work through the fears that keep you small. But don’t stop there. Take action. Speak up. Show up. Step into the bigness that’s waiting for you.

Resources for Your Journey

If you’re ready to dive deeper into claiming your power, here are some resources that can support your journey:

• The Tapping Solution App – Features many powerful Tapping meditations, guided visualizations, and more about connecting with your power, feeling confident, and playing big! Here are a few I’d recommend:
  • I Am Power – This session is from our 6 Day Inner Peace and Power Series by Iyanla Vanzant. It’s a profound session on connecting with your own inner power so you can bring your best, most empowered self to the world.
  • Releasing Fear of Criticism – Great for addressing the deeper fears of criticism so you can connect with your inner courage to live fully as yourself.
  • 5 Day Confidence Series – This series is a wonderful way to connect with confidence by taking action so you can truly embody your power and greatness.
  • Teaching My Inner Child It’s Safe to Be Seen – This short Quick Tap is a powerful way to help connect with any inner child parts that need to know it’s safe to be seen in your greatness and power.
• Find a Certified EFT Practitioner – If you’re dealing with deep-rooted fears around your power, consider working with a certified EFT practitioner who can help you navigate these patterns with personalized support.

Note: You can access these meditations by clicking the links above using your mobile device, or type the name of the meditation into The Tapping Solution App’s search function.

What’s your experience with claiming your power? Have you used Tapping to work through similar fears? I’d love to hear about your journey in the comments below. Your story might be exactly what someone else needs to hear to take their next step toward their own greatness.

Until next time… Keep Tapping!
Nick Ortner