When I read this heartwarming message from Joan, I couldn’t help but smile. And I couldn’t help but think about how many times I, and the people I know, have struggled with this same thing!
“Big day for me today, my big brother, his partner and my big sister were visiting (we are all in our 70’s and due to distance we don’t see each other very often). I don’t get many visitors and I always get very anxious and panicky if I know anyone is visiting, making sure everything is clean and tidy, what food should I prepare etc. But today was different !!!! When I got up this morning I listened to Release August and Create September, Releasing Anxiety and Create a Great Day Tapping meditations. Family were due at 11:00 am I had set the table, prepared salad and sandwiches, quiche, sausage rolls, cake which I had baked yesterday, cheese scones, I even had a jug of iced orange juice ready. We had coffee when they arrived sitting in the sun room then sat down at the dining table for leisurely lunch, then back into the sun room for tea and biscuits. Because I had tapped I was calm and relaxed, we laughed and chatted about the old days, we caught up with family gossip and I thoroughly enjoyed myself and so did they. 4 and half hours later when they had gone and I had washed up and tidied away, I sat down to tap to Afternoon Reset and Settle Your Stomach. I have just had a text from each of them Thanking me and saying they had enjoyed their visit.. I’m feeling happy right now. I am without doubt that it was all down to the Tapping I have done … Thank you Tapping family for making all this possible for me.”
It’s these kinds of transformations that remind me why I’m so passionate about sharing Tapping with the world.
Joan’s story is one that many of us can relate to — that familiar knot of anxiety that forms in your stomach when you know company is coming. The frantic cleaning, the meal planning, the pressure to make everything “perfect.” For many of us, what should be joyful gatherings become stress-inducing events that we survive rather than enjoy.
But Joan’s experience shows us another way is possible.
The Before Picture: Visitor Anxiety
Let’s be honest about something: hosting anxiety is incredibly common. If you’ve ever felt your heart race at the thought of having people over, you’re not alone. This anxiety often stems from our deeply human desire to be accepted and appreciated, coupled with the fear of being judged.
For Joan, hosting her siblings—people she loves but rarely sees—carried particular weight. There’s something about family that can make us especially vulnerable to these concerns. We want things to be special, meaningful, and “just right” when we finally get that precious time together.
What’s fascinating is how this anxiety manifests. Notice how Joan mentioned all the preparations: setting the table, preparing salad and sandwiches, baking cake and cheese scones, even having a jug of iced orange juice ready. These details reveal something important—anxiety often channels itself into excessive preparation and perfectionism.
It’s as if a part of us believes that if every detail is perfect, we’ll somehow be protected from judgment or disappointment. But the irony is that this very perfectionism can prevent us from being present and actually enjoying the gathering we’ve worked so hard to create.
The Turning Point: “But today was different!!!!”
Those four exclamation points speak volumes, don’t they? There’s such joy and surprise in Joan’s realization that things could be different.
The change began with her decision to use Tapping. She specifically mentioned using “Release August and Create September,” “Releasing Anxiety,” and “Create a Great Day” Tapping meditations from The Tapping Solution App before her family arrived. (Note: you can search for these exact sessions in the app if you want to try them for yourself!)
This is such a powerful approach. Rather than pushing through her anxiety or trying to ignore it, Joan addressed it directly. She used Tapping to acknowledge and release the stress she was feeling, creating space for calm and presence.
What happened next is where the magic lies. The gathering unfolded naturally—coffee in the sun room, a leisurely lunch, tea and biscuits. But the most important transformation wasn’t in the events themselves—it was in Joan’s internal experience.
In her own words: “Because I had tapped I was calm and relaxed, we laughed and chatted about the old days, we caught up with family gossip and I thoroughly enjoyed myself…”
The Science Behind Joan’s Transformation
What happened for Joan isn’t just a nice story—it’s backed by neuroscience. When we experience anxiety, our brain’s stress centers activate, particularly the amygdala, which triggers our fight-flight-freeze response. This response floods our body with stress hormones like cortisol and adrenaline.
Research has shown that Tapping sends calming signals directly to the amygdala, interrupting this stress cycle. Studies have found that just one hour of Tapping can reduce cortisol levels by an average of 43%.
This explains why Joan was able to shift from her habitual anxiety to a state of calm presence. Tapping literally helped her rewire her nervous system’s response to a situation that would typically trigger stress.
The Ripple Effect of Being Present
What’s most beautiful about Joan’s story is how her transformation affected everyone around her. The visit wasn’t just better for her—it was better for her brother, his partner, and her sister as well.
Think about it: When a host is anxious, that tension is palpable to guests. They might feel they need to reassure the host, or they might become more self-conscious themselves. This creates a subtle but real barrier to authentic connection.
When Joan was able to be present, relaxed, and enjoying herself, it created a space where everyone could relax. As she mentioned, they laughed, chatted about old times, and caught up on family news. The subsequent text messages Joan received confirm this—her family felt the difference too.
This is the ripple effect of emotional healing. When we address our own stress and anxiety, we create space for more authentic connections with others. One person’s transformation can shift the entire dynamic of a relationship or gathering.
The Full Circle Moment
I love that Joan didn’t just tap before the visit—she also tapped afterward with “Afternoon reset” and “Settle Your stomach.” This shows such wonderful self-awareness and self-care.
Even positive social interactions can be energetically demanding, especially for those of us who tend toward introversion or sensitivity. By Tapping after her visitors left, Joan was able to process the experience, release any residual tension, and fully integrate the joy of the day.
This full-circle approach to emotional management is exactly what makes Tapping such a powerful tool for transformation. It’s not just about getting through difficult moments—it’s about creating new patterns that support our wellbeing before, during, and after significant experiences.
Transforming the Everyday Moments
What strikes me most about Joan’s story isn’t just that she made it through a potentially stressful event—it’s that she actually enjoyed it. This is what makes Tapping so revolutionary. It’s not just about surviving difficult situations; it’s about reclaiming your capacity for joy and presence in everyday moments.
Think about how many experiences in our lives get overshadowed by anxiety or stress:
- A dinner with friends becomes an exercise in social anxiety
- A child’s school performance becomes about worry over their success
- A vacation becomes dominated by travel stress or work concerns
- A holiday gathering becomes tense with family dynamics
These aren’t rare, exceptional moments—they’re the very fabric of a meaningful life. When anxiety diminishes our ability to be present for these everyday experiences, we’re missing out on the richness of life itself.
This is why I’m so passionate about bringing Tapping into everyday situations. It’s not just a crisis management tool (though it certainly helps there too!). It’s a way to enhance the quality of our most ordinary and extraordinary moments alike.
Joan’s experience powerfully illustrates this. She didn’t just “get through” a family visit—she created a memory that will stay with all of them. The laughter, the stories, the connection—these are the moments that make a life well-lived. And Tapping helped make that possible.
What Can We Learn From Joan’s Experience?
If you’re someone who struggles with hosting anxiety or social stress, Joan’s story offers several valuable insights:
- Address anxiety directly rather than trying to power through it. Joan didn’t just hope for the best—she actively used Tapping to release her anxiety.
- Specific Tapping meditations can target specific challenges. Joan chose meditations focused on releasing anxiety and creating a positive day.
- Being present is the greatest gift you can give your guests (and yourself). When Joan was able to relax and enjoy herself, everyone benefited.
- Self-care after social gatherings is just as important as preparation beforehand. Joan’s post-visit Tapping helped her process and integrate the experience.
- Transformation is possible, even with long-established patterns. Joan’s joy and surprise at how different this visit felt suggests this was a breakthrough in a pattern she’d experienced many times before.
Your Turn: A Simple Tapping Sequence for Hosting Anxiety
If you’d like to try Tapping for your own hosting anxiety, here’s a simple sequence to start with:
Tapping on the side of the hand:
“Even though I feel anxious about having people over, I deeply and completely accept myself.”
“Even though I want everything to be perfect and I’m putting so much pressure on myself, I choose to be kind to myself through this process.”
“Even though part of me believes I’ll be judged if everything isn’t perfect, I accept all my feelings and choose to open to the possibility of enjoying this gathering.”
Eyebrow: “This hosting anxiety”
Side of the eye: “I want everything to be perfect”
Under the eye: “What if they judge me?”
Under the nose: “All this pressure I put on myself”
Under the mouth: “I need everything to be just right”
Collarbone: “This knot of anxiety in my stomach”
Under the arm: “It’s hard to enjoy myself when I’m this nervous”
Top of the head: “All this hosting anxiety”
Eyebrow: “What if I could relax and be present?”
Side of the eye: “What if perfection isn’t required?”
Under the eye: “What if my worth isn’t tied to how clean my house is?”
Under the nose: “What if my guests care more about connecting with me?”
Under the mouth: “I can prepare what’s necessary and let the rest go”
Collarbone: “I give myself permission to enjoy this gathering”
Under the arm: “I’m creating space for authentic connection”
Top of the head: “I can be calm, present, and myself”
Eyebrow: “I’m giving myself permission to enjoy this time”
Side of the eye: “The most important thing I can offer is my presence”
Under the eye: “My genuine enjoyment creates space for everyone to relax”
Under the nose: “This can actually be fun for me too”
Under the mouth: “I’m releasing the need for perfection”
Collarbone: “I can be both a host and a participant in this gathering”
Under the arm: “I choose to create a memory, not just complete a task”
Top of the head: “I’m opening to joy and connection right now”
Try this sequence before your next gathering and notice what shifts for you. Remember, the goal isn’t to eliminate all preparation or care—it’s to release the anxiety that prevents you from being present and enjoying the connection you’ve created space for.
A Final Thought
Joan’s story is a beautiful reminder that our established patterns, even those that have been with us for decades, can change. With tools like Tapping, we can rewire our nervous systems, creating new experiences and possibilities.
What makes me happiest about Joan’s message is the quiet joy that radiates from her words. She wasn’t just relieved that the visit was over—she was genuinely happy, present, and connected during a meaningful family gathering.
That’s what becoming your greatest self is all about. It’s not about being perfect or never experiencing anxiety. It’s about having tools to process that anxiety so it doesn’t control your experience. It’s about creating space for joy, connection, and presence—even in situations that previously triggered stress.
The beauty of Tapping is that it helps us reclaim our capacity for joy in the ordinary moments of our lives. When we’re not consumed by anxiety, we can actually taste the food we’ve prepared, laugh genuinely at shared stories, and feel the warmth of being with people we care about. These seemingly small shifts create a life that feels fundamentally different—richer, more connected, and more fulfilling.
Thank you, Joan, for sharing your beautiful transformation with us. Your story is a powerful reminder of what’s possible when we address our emotions with compassion and effective tools.
Have you experienced a transformation with Tapping? Or do you have a question about using Tapping for social anxiety? Share in the comments below!
Looking for more support with social anxiety and hosting stress?
- The Tapping Solution App – Features many of the same meditations Joan used to transform her experience, plus many more for anxiety, social situations, and everyday stresses. Here are some I recommend:
- Releasing Anxiety – This is our most popular meditation, with over 1.6 million plays and an average 40% reduction in anxiety levels.
- Create a Great Day – Perfect for starting your day with intention and calm, just as Joan did.
- Settle Your Stomach – Great for physical manifestations of anxiety, particularly that “knot in the stomach” feeling many experience before social events.
- Afternoon Reset – Ideal for after gatherings to process the experience and reset your energy.
Note: You can access these meditations by clicking the links above using your mobile device, or type the name of the meditation into The Tapping Solution App’s search function.
Until next time… Keep Tapping!
Nick Ortner