Tapping for Forgiveness: A Guide to Healing and Letting Go

Forgiveness can be one of the most challenging yet transformative acts we undertake. Whether you’re struggling to forgive someone else or yourself, the weight of resentment, anger, and hurt can be overwhelming. Thankfully, there’s a powerful technique that can help you navigate this complex journey: EFT Tapping for forgiveness.

In this comprehensive guide, we’ll explore how to use Emotional Freedom Techniques (EFT) Tapping for forgiveness, providing you with practical tools to release old hurts and open your heart up to greater healing and peace.

What Is Tapping for forgiveness?

Before we dive into the Tapping techniques, it’s important to understand what forgiveness really means. After all, we tend to have a lot of resistance to forgiveness.

Sure, we might know we “should” forgive, but we don’t always want to. It’s difficult!

There’s often a part of us that says, “No way, I was wronged! And if I forgive them, I’m condoning the behavior.”

And there’s also often a deeper part, rooted in our ancient brain and biology, that finds it hard to forgive because of the fear that if we forgive, it’s going to happen again and we’ll get hurt. It doesn’t feel safe.

But here’s the truth about forgiveness: forgiveness doesn’t mean forgetting what happened or excusing harmful behavior. It doesn’t mean rolling over when bad things happen to us and giving in.

Rather, forgiveness is a conscious decision to release the grip that negative emotions have on you. It’s a choice to free yourself from the burden of anger, fear, and resentment, so you can move forward with greater peace and ease.

This is where Tapping comes in. With Tapping, we can address both our conscious thinking about the issue, as well as the deeper subconscious and biological roots holding us back.

Tapping (also sometimes called EFT or Emotional Freedom Techniques) combines elements of modern psychology therapy with ancient Chinese acupressure, helping to calm the nervous system and rewire emotional responses.

It has been shown to help calm the amygdala in the brain, soothe stress and anxiety, and release strong emotions and experiences from our past.

When it comes to forgiveness, Tapping can help you:

Release pent-up negative emotions
Reduce the intensity of painful memories
Shift perspective on past events and see new insights
Increase self-compassion
Open the heart to new possibilities

Tapping for forgiveness is an extremely effective tool for processing and releasing old emotional patterns that are holding us back from feeling peaceful and free in the present.

A step-by-step guide to Tapping for forgiveness

If you’re brand new to Tapping, you can learn the basics in this comprehensive guide.

Step 1: Identify the issue

Begin by clearly identifying what you’re having trouble forgiving. Is it another person’s actions? A situation? Yourself? Be as specific as possible.

Step 2: Rate the intensity

On a scale of 0-10, rate how intense your emotions are when you think about the situation. This gives you a baseline to measure your progress.

Step 3: Create a setup statement

Form a statement that acknowledges the issue while accepting yourself. For example:

“Even though I’m angry at [person/situation] for [specific reason], I deeply and completely accept myself.” or “Even though I’m having a hard time forgiving [person/situation], I am okay in this moment.”

Step 4: Move through the Tapping sequence

While repeating your setup statement three times, tap on the Side of the Hand point. Then, tap through the following points in order while focusing on your feelings about the situation. You can also speak out loud about what is bothering you while you tap through the points.

Eyebrow
Side of the Eye
Under the Eye
Under the Nose
Under the mouth
Collarbone
Under the Arm
Top of the Head

Step 5: Reassess and repeat

After completing one round of Tapping, take a deep breath and reassess your intensity level using the 0 to 10 scale. Repeat the process, adjusting your statements as needed, until you feel a shift.

Curious to try this out in real time? Watch this video of me and Wayne Dyer Tapping on the topic of forgiveness, and be sure to tap along with us!

Example Tapping script for forgiveness

Below is a sample Tapping script to get you started.

First, identify who or what you are having trouble forgiving. Get really specific on what happened, what they said, what they did, how they acted, and bring that memory to mind.

How do you feel when you think about it? What’s the emotion? Where do you feel it in your body?

Give it an intensity on a 0 to 10 scale, 10 being the most intense. If you can, write down what you’re feeling and the number, as it helps to be able to track your progress.

Now, let’s do some tapping! Tap on the recommended points while repeating the phrases out loud or in your mind:

Side of the Hand: Even though I refuse to forgive them because of what they did to me…I deeply love and accept myself… (or you can simply say, “I’m OK” if love and accepting yourself is too much right now)

Side of the Hand: Even though I refuse to forgive them because of what they did to me…I deeply love and accept myself…

Eyebrow: I can’t believe they did that

Side of the Eye: I’m so angry

Under the Eye: It’s not right

Under the Nose: It’s not fair

Under the Mouth: And I refuse to let it go

Collarbone: All this anger

Under the Arm: All this ____ (fill in the blank with how you feel)

Top of the Head: In every cell of my body

Eyebrow: I just can’t let this go

Side of the Eye: Because they don’t deserve that

Under the Eye: They don’t deserve my forgiveness

Under the Nose: And I refuse to let it go

Under the Mouth: So much anger

Collarbone: About what happened

Under the Arm: About what they did

Top of the Head: About what they said

Keep tapping on the “negative” or the “truth,” until you find that the intensity has lessened enough that you can say some positive statements, and have them feel fully or at least somewhat true. We tap on the “negative” first in order to clear this resistance – not to affirm it, but to open up the door for positive thoughts.

You can also simply tap through the points as you think specifically about what they did, what they said, what happened, etc. It can be helpful to imagine it like watching a movie in detail as you keep tapping through the points. Go through as much detail as you can while you keep tapping, with the goal being you can eventually think about the event or the person without heavy resistance coming up.

What’s most important is that you feel the feeling, get specific about what you experienced, and tap until it’s released.

When you’re ready – when it “feels” right – move on to some positive statements.

Eyebrow: Maybe it’s time to let this go

Side of the Eye: I wonder if I can let this go

Under the Eye: What if I can let part of this go

Under the Nose: Releasing this anger

Under the Mouth: From every cell of my body

Collarbone: Letting it go

Under the Arm: Letting it all go

Top of the Head: Right now

Tap through a couple of rounds of positive statements and feel free to add in your own words or affirmations. These are just guidelines to get you started.

When you’re done Tapping, take a deep breath… and let it go. Think of what happened again, and notice how it’s changed. Rate the current intensity on the 0 to 10 scale. Write down your new number.

You can stop Tapping if you’re at a good place, or keep Tapping until you feel a bigger shift.

Remember, forgiveness is a process. Be patient and gentle with yourself as you work through these emotions.

Tapping for self-forgiveness

Self-forgiveness can be particularly challenging. Here are some affirmations to incorporate into your Tapping routine when working on forgiving yourself:

“I am worthy of forgiveness and love”
“I did the best I could with what I knew at the time”
“I choose to learn from my past and move forward”
“I am deserving of peace and happiness, no matter what happens in the past”
“I am learning and growing every day”
“I release regret and welcome new opportunities”
“I let go of guilt and acknowledge my growth”

For more affirmations to support Tapping for self-forgiveness, check out our list of 10 Affirmations to Help You Forgive Yourself.

And be sure to go here to do some Tapping to help you love, accept, and forgive yourself.

Embracing forgiveness through Tapping

Forgiveness is not always easy, but it is a gift you give to yourself.

By using EFT Tapping for forgiveness, you have a powerful tool at your disposal to navigate this challenging but rewarding journey.

Remember, as you tap for forgiveness you’re not just letting go of the past – you’re opening yourself up to a future filled with more peace, love, and acceptance.

Be patient, stick with it, and trust that the Tapping will guide you to where you want to be.

Ready to dive deeper into Tapping for forgiveness? Download The Tapping Solution App today for guided Tapping meditations on forgiveness and other topics that will help you on your road to healing and letting go.

Here are a few session titles you can choose from when you start Tapping in the app:

Instant Boost of Forgiveness

Micro Boost of Forgiveness

Intimate Relationship Support: Opening up to Forgiveness

Help Me Let Go of What Someone Else Did

Help Me Let Go of What Someone Else Said

“I Refuse to Forgive”
When Holding onto Upset: Forgiveness Quick Tap (for kids)

As you continue your forgiveness journey, remember the words of Lewis B. Smedes: “To forgive is to set a prisoner free and discover that the prisoner was you.”

Through Tapping, you have the power to unlock that cage and step into freedom.

Until next time… Keep Tapping!
Nick Ortner