Don’t be like Fred!
Forgiveness is easy to INTEND to give.
Of course we “should” forgive, but it’s difficult.
There’s often a part of us that says, “No Way” I was wronged, and if I forgive them, I’m condoning the behavior.
And there’s also perhaps a deeper part, rooted in our ancient brain and biology that finds it hard to forgive because of the fear that if we forgive, it’s going to happen again, we’re going to be hurt again and we won’t be SAFE.
This is, where I believe, Tapping comes in powerfully because we’re not only addressing the conscious thinking about it, but the deeper subconscious and biological roots.
So…you can probably think of someone right now that perhaps you want to forgive for what they did. Maybe not 100%, but maybe you want to start.
Can you think of that person?
Good. Get started forgiving them today. Tony Robbins once said, “Forgiveness is a gift you give yourself” Do it now.
So here’s a tapping script on: “I refuse to forgive them because of what they did to me…”
First, identify who or what you are having trouble forgiving. Get really specific on what happened, what they said, what they did, how they acted, and bring that memory to mind.
How do you feel when you think of that? What’s the emotion? Where do you feel it in your body?
Give it an intensity on a 0-10 scale, 10 being the most intense. (If you can, write down what you’re feeling and the number, it helps to be able to track your progress)
Let’s do some tapping!
(If you’re not familiar with the tapping process, you can learn more here)
Karate Chop: Even though I refuse to forgive them because of what they did to me…I deeply love and accept myself… (or you can simply say, “I’m OK” if love and accepting yourself is too much right now)
Karate Chop: Even though I refuse to forgive them because of what they did to me…I deeply love and accept myself…
Karate Chop: Even though I refuse to forgive them because of what they did to me…I deeply love and accept myself…
Eyebrow: I can’t believe they did that
Side of Eye: I’m so angry
Under Eye: It’s not right
Under Nose: It’s not fair
Under Mouth: And I refuse to let it go
Collarbone: All this anger
Under Arm: All this ____ (fill in the blank with how you feel)
Top of Head: In every cell of my body
Eyebrow: I just can’t let this go
Side of Eye: Because they don’t deserve that
Under Eye: They don’t deserve my forgiveness
Under Nose: And I refuse to let it go
Under Mouth: So much anger.
Collarbone: About what happened
Under Arm: About what they did
Top of Head: About what they said
Keep tapping on the “negative” or the “truth,” until you find that the intensity has lessened enough that you can say some positive statements, and have them feel fully or at least somewhat true. We tap on the “negative” first in order to clear this resistance, not to affirm it, but to open up the door for positive thoughts.
You can also simply tap through the points, as you think specifically about what they did, what they said, what happened.
See the movie in detail, and just keep tapping through the points. Identify other parts of the movie, keep going. You want to be able to think about the event or the person, without heavy resistance coming up.
When you’re ready, when it “feels” right, move on to some positive statements.
Eyebrow: Maybe it’s time to let this go
Side of Eye: I wonder if I can let this go
Under Eye: What if I can let part of this go
Under Nose: Releasing this anger
Under Mouth: From every cell of my body
Collarbone: Letting it go
Under Arm: Letting it all go
Top of Head: Right now
Tap through a couple of rounds of positive statements and feel free to add in your own words or affirmations. These are just guidelines to get you started, what’s most important is that you feel the feeling, get specific about what you experienced, and tap until it’s released.
When you’re done tapping, take a deep breath…and let it go. Think of what happened again, and notice how it’s changed. Write down your new number of intensity. Either stop tapping if you’re at a good place or keep tapping until fully released.
Until next time…
Keep Tapping!
Nick Ortner
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