I thought I’d give you a sneak peek into the inside of The Tapping Solution book, a New York Times bestseller.
Here’s a short section from Chapter 3 that you might enjoy. 🙂
to accept the things I cannot change;
courage to change the things I can;
and wisdom to know the difference.
It started innocently enough: weird pains in her body. Her doctors could find no medical explanation. She had trouble sleeping through the night, had a general feeling of fatigue during the day, was carrying extra pounds she couldn’t get rid of, no matter what she tried, and had an underlying feeling of anxiety and angst that just wouldn’t release.
When she found the space to breathe and examine her life, all she could think was, It’s too much.
It’s too much responsibility. There are too many things to do. There’s too much financial pressure. It’s too much to take care of the kids and be a great parent. It’s too much to try to be a loving wife. It’s too much to eat perfectly. It’s too much to look good, feel good, and keep up with the Joneses.
Modern life, with all its stressors—all the stuff we are intimately familiar with and know about—was overwhelming to her.
Sound familiar?
What’s “too much” in your life? What’s stressing you out the most? What do you feel like you just can’t handle? What physical symptoms are showing up in your body?
Feelings of generalized anxiety, being overwhelmed, fatigue, and intense responsibility have become par for the course in modern life. “This is just the way life is,” we tell ourselves. “It’s hurried; it’s busy; there’s one thing after another, each stacking on top of the next, to the point where sometimes it’s hard to breathe.”
You know those times when you do take a deep breath? Try it now, and see what you find. The realization may run something like this: Wow, I’ve been so stressed out. My body is running on overdrive, and I haven’t noticed it. When was the last time I actually relaxed?
We have developed patterns, ways of being and thinking, that simply do not serve us and are not sustainable. That’s why we get unknown pains in our bodies; it’s also why we come down with medical conditions that can be more easily blamed on biological problems like viruses, bacteria, or other outside forces. These patterns are why we walk around feeling stressed, anxious, and uncomfortable. They’re why we have trouble sleeping and why we can’t drop the weight we want to. That’s why we feel like there’s too much to do, like the stress will never end. It’s why we can’t be present in the moment or enjoy our lives.
Some of my clients argue that it’s not their way of thinking or being that’s the problem—the problem is life itself!
They say to me, “I could be happy if such and such changed” or “I would be happy if I had less to do” or “I would be happy if I had more money” or “I would be happy if I lost weight.” Many of us simply believe that, until those things happen, we are not going to be happy.
Well, I’ve got some bad news. (I know, I’m just piling it on, right? The good news is coming, I promise!) The only way you’re going to have more money, lose weight, be healthier, and feel more fulfilled is if you first change your patterns and ways of thinking. You must find a way to lower your stress levels, process your negative emotions, let go of the past, and stop repeating negative patterns. Only from there can you create the life you’ve truly dreamed of.
There was a time when this kind of stress reduction and pattern change might have seemed like a tall or impossible order, but now EFT tapping can make it all happen quickly.
In the first chapter, we saw the amazing effects that tapping can have on the body on a purely physical level, in terms of reducing the fight-or-flight response and calming the amygdala. The same goes for your emotional world. When you apply tapping to your existing patterns, beliefs, and emotions, your life changes almost instantly. It did for Claire—in seemingly miraculous ways, as you’ll see on the following pages—and it can for you, too.
“Nothing Ever Works . . .”
When I began chatting with Claire about her life and everything that was going on, one of the first things she shared with me was her frustration about all the stress-reduction methods she had tried in the past, from yoga, to meditation, to affirmations, to positive thinking. She had a deep belief that, for her, “nothing ever worked.” When we’ve been on a path of self-discovery and self-improvement for a few years and haven’t seen the results we expected or were promised, it can be extremely frustrating! But that frustration—and the expectation of another negative outcome—is exactly what can keep us stuck. Oftentimes, we pile that frustration on top of negative feelings about ourselves and about our commitment to making change happen.
I know what I should be doing, but I never do it.
I’ve tried other techniques, but they don’t seem to work.
It seems to work for other people, but it doesn’t work for me.
I always start down a path, but never finish it. (We’re going to change that pattern right now, so you can finish this book!)
It’s important to clear this frustration, to clear your anxiety that the personal development techniques you try won’t work. It’s in this clearing that you open yourself up to new possibilities. Otherwise the mind-set that “nothing ever works” or the belief that “I never finish what I start” will keep manifesting. And then you won’t finish this book—even though the life breakthrough you’re looking for might be in Chapter 9! Or you might read every word but not do the actual tapping, which is where all the magic lies.
So let’s do some tapping right now to clear these negative expectations.
You’ll find throughout this book that I’ve made tapping scripts available for a variety of issues. All of them start with a “check-in” phrase, to determine if it’s something you need to work on.
For example, this script’s check-in phrase is I’m frustrated because nothing ever works for me. Go ahead and say that out loud a few times, and then rate how true it is on the 0-to-10 scale, with 10 being “absolutely true” and 0 being “not at all true.” Generally speaking, if your truth level is a 5 or more, it’s probably an issue you want to work on right away.
Remember, these are general phrases and ideas to get you started. If different language fits better for you, or if other ideas come up, feel free to follow your intuition.
Karate Chop: Even though I’m frustrated because nothing ever works for me, I deeply and completely accept myself.
Karate Chop: Even though I have a tendency to start something and not finish it, I deeply love and accept myself.
Karate Chop: Even though I’m anxious because nothing seems to work for me, I choose to relax now.
Eyebrow: Nothing ever works . . .
Side of Eye: All this frustration . . .
Under Eye: I’m frustrated because nothing works for me . . .
Under Nose: I’ve tried so many different things . . .
Chin: And nothing ever works . . .
Collarbone: This probably won’t work . . .
Under Arm: This probably won’t work for me . . .
Top of Head: All this frustration . . .
Eyebrow: Nothing ever works . . .
Side of Eye: I start things and don’t finish them . . .
Under Eye: I’m anxious to try anything else . . .
Under Nose: Because I have so many experiences of things not working . . .
Chin: It works for other people . . .
Collarbone: But not for me . . .
Under Arm: All this frustration . . .
Top of Head: All this anxiety and frustration.
And now let’s do a positive round. (Remember, go on to the positive statements only when you feel relief or if the statements feel at least somewhat true. Don’t force the positive; keep tapping on what’s stopping you or bothering you until the positive feels more natural. If during a positive round your mind says, “I don’t believe you!” or “That’s not true!” then you probably need to go back to the negative beliefs until they clear.)
Eyebrow: I choose to be open to the possibility that this can work . . .
Side of Eye: I choose to release any frustration in my body . . .
Under Eye: Things have worked for me before . . .
Under Nose: I have made lots of positive changes . . .
Chin: And I choose to make more . . .
Collarbone: I choose to believe in my ability to change . . .
Under Arm: I choose to release any frustration or anxiety in my body . . .
Top of Head: Letting it go . . . letting it all go.
Identifying Cognitive Shifts and the “Apex Effect”
After doing this tapping script and bringing down her frustration, Claire went on to say, “You know what? That’s not true that nothing ever works. I’ve had a lot of successes and have really changed my life a lot in the past couple of years. I’m hopeful that this tapping can help even more.”
What had happened in the few minutes since Claire had told me, “Nothing ever works for me”? Had she been lying before? Did she change her mind in those few minutes?
What happened is that before, she was running a pattern and belief system that said, “Nothing ever works for me.” Her brain and body were pulling up all those negative experiences from the past—all those mini traumas where she had let herself down, hadn’t forgiven herself, and hadn’t processed the experience. These experiences had created a limiting belief that she could not get past. By tapping on her feelings of frustration, we cleared the old thought pattern and allowed a new belief to spring forward.
When we use EFT on these feelings and experiences, a cognitive shift takes place that allows us to see more clearly, to reduce the noise in our head and in our body. Oftentimes, the shift is so profound that people almost don’t remember what they thought before. As I said before, EFT isn’t a mind eraser; it doesn’t delete memories in any way, but it does clear the negative emotional and energetic patterns behind a memory. Thus it changes our approach and response to the event—and to life going forward.
At the most extreme level, this shift is called the “Apex Effect.” The Apex Effect happens when a person’s thought patterns shift so dramatically that they don’t credit tapping as the catalyst. Some even say the belief was never a problem in the first place! Someone can be scared of spiders, tap to clear it, and then say they were never scared because their mind has shifted so far from the fear that it doesn’t seem real in their life anymore. This is one of the reasons it’s always important to use the 0-to-10 scale after each round of tapping. It allows you to accurately gauge your progress and remember where you started.
Identifying Your Patterns
Throughout this book, we will explore your patterns regarding all sorts of major life topics, including weight loss, relationships, finances, and so forth. In this chapter, however, we’re going to continue to address the more generalized patterns—the limiting belief systems and habits that are contributing to the stress in your life. Stress itself is both the symptom and the cause of most of the challenges we face on a daily basis. Obviously, stress isn’t pleasurable. It wreaks havoc on our body, raising cortisol levels (which helps put and keep weight on), blood pressure, blood sugar, and more. But beyond that, the stress response itself often leads to more stressful situations. For example, stress triggered by a colleague in a business meeting, you might go home with you to your kids or partner. The cycle continues.
For more tapping (with over 150 tapping meditations!) be sure to check out The Tapping Solution App!
Until next time…
Keep Tapping!
Nick Ortner
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